1 00:00:07,952 --> 00:00:10,446 Ooh, smell that air! 2 00:00:11,004 --> 00:00:14,117 Grass and lemonade and a little bit of mint... 3 00:00:14,613 --> 00:00:16,852 ...a hint of mint, must be the 1920s. 4 00:00:17,039 --> 00:00:20,143 You can tell what year it is just by smelling? 5 00:00:20,178 --> 00:00:21,191 Oh, yeah! 6 00:00:21,207 --> 00:00:25,163 Or maybe that big vintage car coming up the drive gave it away. 7 00:00:32,515 --> 00:00:34,221 The professor's luggage, Richard, step lively. 8 00:00:37,074 --> 00:00:40,099 - Good afternoon, Professor Peach. - Hello, Greeves old man. 9 00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:43,193 - Ah... Reverend! - Professor Peach! 10 00:00:43,610 --> 00:00:44,803 Beautiful day. 11 00:00:44,804 --> 00:00:46,799 The Lord's in his heaven, all's right with the world. 12 00:00:46,829 --> 00:00:47,939 Reverend Golightly. 13 00:00:48,671 --> 00:00:52,121 Lady Eddison requests that you make yourselves comfortable in your rooms. 14 00:00:52,262 --> 00:00:55,108 Cocktails will be served on the lawn from half past four. 15 00:00:55,143 --> 00:00:57,954 You go on up. I need to check something in the library. 16 00:00:58,532 --> 00:01:00,509 - Alone. - It's supposed to be a party. 17 00:01:00,701 --> 00:01:02,357 All this work, it'll be the death of you! 18 00:01:03,528 --> 00:01:05,112 Never mind Planet Zog. 19 00:01:05,325 --> 00:01:08,156 A party in the 1920s, that's more like it! 20 00:01:08,576 --> 00:01:11,171 Trouble is... we haven't been invited. 21 00:01:11,513 --> 00:01:13,382 Oh, I forgot, yes, we have! 22 00:01:16,009 --> 00:01:17,409 I was right. 23 00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:20,036 Kept secret all these years. 24 00:01:20,071 --> 00:01:21,200 It's unbelievable! 25 00:01:22,244 --> 00:01:23,611 But why didn't they ask...? 26 00:01:23,919 --> 00:01:24,919 Heavens! 27 00:01:25,195 --> 00:01:26,195 Oh, it's you. 28 00:01:26,674 --> 00:01:28,454 I was just doing a little research. 29 00:01:29,450 --> 00:01:31,958 I say, what are you doing with that lead piping? 30 00:01:34,022 --> 00:01:35,168 But that's impossible! 31 00:01:41,447 --> 00:01:43,717 Transcript: evarin www.transcripts.subtitle.me.uk 32 00:02:15,194 --> 00:02:17,525 We'll be late for cocktails! 33 00:02:20,054 --> 00:02:21,149 What d'you think? 34 00:02:21,184 --> 00:02:23,043 Flapper or slapper? 35 00:02:24,209 --> 00:02:25,727 Flapper. You look lovely! 36 00:02:35,828 --> 00:02:37,285 Look sharp, we have guests! 37 00:02:37,772 --> 00:02:38,772 Good afternoon! 38 00:02:39,170 --> 00:02:40,932 Drinks, sir? Ma'am? 39 00:02:41,508 --> 00:02:42,682 Sidecar, please. 40 00:02:42,717 --> 00:02:44,401 And a lime and soda, thank you. 41 00:02:44,736 --> 00:02:47,407 May I announce Lady Clemency Eddison! 42 00:02:47,423 --> 00:02:48,799 Lady Eddison! 43 00:02:49,367 --> 00:02:52,307 Forgive me, but who exactly might you be... 44 00:02:52,679 --> 00:02:55,147 - ...and what are you doing here? - I'm the Doctor... 45 00:02:55,331 --> 00:02:58,563 ...and this is Miss Donna Noble, of the Chiswick Nobles. 46 00:02:58,818 --> 00:03:00,051 Good afternoon, my lady. 47 00:03:00,222 --> 00:03:02,308 Topping day, what? 48 00:03:02,375 --> 00:03:04,624 - Spiffing! Top hole! - No, no, no, no. No. 49 00:03:04,819 --> 00:03:06,384 Don't do that, don't. 50 00:03:06,604 --> 00:03:08,755 We were thrilled to receive your invitation, my lady. 51 00:03:08,790 --> 00:03:10,917 We met at the Ambassador's reception. 52 00:03:10,951 --> 00:03:12,744 Doctor, how could I forget you? 53 00:03:12,888 --> 00:03:15,829 But one must be sure with the Unicorn on the loose. 54 00:03:15,864 --> 00:03:17,939 A unicorn? Brilliant! Where? 55 00:03:18,102 --> 00:03:20,926 The Unicorn. The jewel thief. 56 00:03:20,961 --> 00:03:22,658 Nobody knows who he is. 57 00:03:22,802 --> 00:03:24,447 He's just struck again... 58 00:03:24,647 --> 00:03:28,039 ...snatched Lady Babbington's pearls right from under her nose. 59 00:03:28,181 --> 00:03:29,455 Funny place to wear pearls. 60 00:03:29,490 --> 00:03:31,692 May I announce the Colonel Hugh Curbishley... 61 00:03:31,693 --> 00:03:33,787 ...the Honourable Roger Curbishley. 62 00:03:34,013 --> 00:03:35,321 My husband... 63 00:03:36,402 --> 00:03:37,402 ...and my son. 64 00:03:37,461 --> 00:03:38,760 Forgive me for not rising. 65 00:03:39,004 --> 00:03:42,506 Never been the same ever since that flu epidemic back in '18. 66 00:03:42,668 --> 00:03:45,833 My word, you are a super lady. 67 00:03:46,598 --> 00:03:49,254 Oh, I like the cut of your jib. Chin, chin. 68 00:03:49,298 --> 00:03:50,950 - Hello, I'm the Doctor. - How do you do? 69 00:03:50,985 --> 00:03:51,985 Very well. 70 00:03:52,295 --> 00:03:54,514 - Your usual, sir? - Ah, thank you, Davenport. 71 00:03:55,119 --> 00:03:56,169 Just how l like it. 72 00:03:56,176 --> 00:03:58,933 How come she's an Eddison, but her husband and son are Curbishleys? 73 00:03:59,706 --> 00:04:01,951 The Eddison title ascends through her. 74 00:04:02,490 --> 00:04:04,567 One day Roger will be a lord. 75 00:04:04,631 --> 00:04:06,021 Miss Robina Redmond! 76 00:04:06,056 --> 00:04:08,502 She's the absolute hit of the social scene. 77 00:04:08,537 --> 00:04:09,677 A must! 78 00:04:09,923 --> 00:04:12,908 - Miss Redmond! - Spiffing to meet you at last, my lady! 79 00:04:13,524 --> 00:04:16,032 - What super fun! - Reverend Arnold Golightly! 80 00:04:16,856 --> 00:04:19,372 Reverend, how are you? 81 00:04:19,781 --> 00:04:23,085 I heard about the church last Thursday night. 82 00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:24,250 Those ruffians breaking in. 83 00:04:24,285 --> 00:04:25,702 You apprehended them, I hear. 84 00:04:25,737 --> 00:04:27,596 As the Christian Fathers taught me... 85 00:04:27,631 --> 00:04:29,455 ...we must forgive them their trespasses... 86 00:04:29,735 --> 00:04:30,736 ...quite literally. 87 00:04:31,075 --> 00:04:33,154 Some of these young boys deserve a decent thrashing. 88 00:04:33,460 --> 00:04:34,782 Couldn't agree more, sir. 89 00:04:35,994 --> 00:04:38,685 Typical. All the decent men are on the other bus. 90 00:04:38,967 --> 00:04:40,078 Or Time Lords. 91 00:04:40,230 --> 00:04:42,478 Now, milady, what about this special guest you promised us? 92 00:04:42,513 --> 00:04:43,984 Here she is! 93 00:04:44,161 --> 00:04:47,038 A lady who needs no introduction. 94 00:04:47,845 --> 00:04:49,341 Oh, no, please don't. 95 00:04:49,982 --> 00:04:52,499 Thank you, Lady Eddison. Honestly, there's no need. 96 00:04:53,224 --> 00:04:54,286 Agatha Christie. 97 00:04:54,615 --> 00:04:56,524 - What about her? - That's me. 98 00:04:56,875 --> 00:04:57,875 No! 99 00:04:58,722 --> 00:05:00,218 You're kidding! 100 00:05:00,544 --> 00:05:03,132 Agatha Christie! I was just talking about you the other day. 101 00:05:03,167 --> 00:05:05,379 I said, I bet she's brilliant! I'm the Doctor, this is Donna. 102 00:05:06,270 --> 00:05:08,019 Oh! I love your stuff! What a mind! 103 00:05:08,321 --> 00:05:10,882 You fool me every time, well, almost every time. 104 00:05:10,917 --> 00:05:12,920 Well, once or twice. 105 00:05:13,425 --> 00:05:16,068 Well, once. But it was a good once! 106 00:05:16,159 --> 00:05:17,791 You make a rather unusual couple. 107 00:05:17,826 --> 00:05:19,281 - No, we're not married! - We're not a couple! 108 00:05:19,403 --> 00:05:20,403 Obviously not. 109 00:05:20,427 --> 00:05:21,535 No wedding ring. 110 00:05:23,446 --> 00:05:25,970 - Oh, you don't miss a trick. - And I'd stay that way, if I were you. 111 00:05:26,099 --> 00:05:29,013 The thrill is in the chase, never in the capture. 112 00:05:29,503 --> 00:05:32,306 Mrs Christie! I'm so glad you could come. 113 00:05:32,341 --> 00:05:34,059 I'm one of your greatest followers. 114 00:05:34,094 --> 00:05:36,920 I've read all six of your books! 115 00:05:37,134 --> 00:05:40,231 Is Mr. Christie not joining us? 116 00:05:40,425 --> 00:05:41,494 Is he needed? 117 00:05:42,227 --> 00:05:43,982 Can't a woman make her own way in the world? 118 00:05:44,328 --> 00:05:45,864 Don't give my wife ideas! 119 00:05:46,199 --> 00:05:47,373 Now, Mrs Christie, I've a question. 120 00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:50,092 Why a Belgian detective? 121 00:05:50,256 --> 00:05:52,661 Belgians make such lovely buns! 122 00:05:56,122 --> 00:05:57,590 I say, where on earth's Professor Peach? 123 00:05:57,625 --> 00:05:59,263 He'd love to meet Mrs Christie. 124 00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:00,639 Said he was going to the library. 125 00:06:02,672 --> 00:06:05,794 Miss Chandrakala. Would you go and collect the Professor? 126 00:06:05,822 --> 00:06:07,318 At once, my lady. 127 00:06:07,353 --> 00:06:08,814 The date on this newspaper. 128 00:06:10,027 --> 00:06:11,060 What about it? 129 00:06:11,723 --> 00:06:14,370 It's the day Agatha Christie disappeared. 130 00:06:18,507 --> 00:06:20,351 Professor Peach! 131 00:06:24,363 --> 00:06:25,417 Professor? 132 00:06:28,676 --> 00:06:31,733 She'd just discovered her husband was having an affair. 133 00:06:32,284 --> 00:06:33,846 You'd never think to look at her. 134 00:06:33,881 --> 00:06:35,408 - Smiling away. - Well. 135 00:06:35,556 --> 00:06:36,921 She's British and moneyed. 136 00:06:37,263 --> 00:06:40,010 That's what they do, they carry on. 137 00:06:40,841 --> 00:06:42,380 Except for this one time. 138 00:06:42,749 --> 00:06:45,023 No-one knows exactly what happened, she just vanished. 139 00:06:49,811 --> 00:06:52,663 Her car will be found by the side of a lake. 140 00:06:52,774 --> 00:06:56,167 Ten days later, Agatha Christie turns up in a hotel in Harrogate. 141 00:06:58,342 --> 00:06:59,695 Said she'd lost her memory. 142 00:07:00,794 --> 00:07:03,691 She never spoke about the disappearance, till the day she died. 143 00:07:03,902 --> 00:07:05,367 But whatever it was... 144 00:07:05,707 --> 00:07:06,775 It's about to happen. 145 00:07:07,061 --> 00:07:09,084 Right here, right now. 146 00:07:09,325 --> 00:07:11,649 Professor... The library! 147 00:07:11,684 --> 00:07:13,398 Murder! Murder! 148 00:07:17,748 --> 00:07:18,834 Oh, my goodness! 149 00:07:19,821 --> 00:07:21,773 Bashed on the head. A blunt instrument. 150 00:07:22,896 --> 00:07:25,480 Watch broke as he fell, time of death was a quarter past four. 151 00:07:26,260 --> 00:07:27,260 Bit of pipe. 152 00:07:28,482 --> 00:07:31,639 Call me Hercule Poirot, but I reckon that's blunt enough. 153 00:07:36,490 --> 00:07:38,568 Nothing worth killing for in that lot. Dry as dust. 154 00:07:39,996 --> 00:07:42,379 Hold on. The body in the library? 155 00:07:42,827 --> 00:07:46,920 I mean, Professor Peach, in the library, with the lead piping? 156 00:07:46,955 --> 00:07:48,317 - Let me see. - Out of my way! 157 00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:50,763 - Gerald! - Saints preserve us! 158 00:07:50,798 --> 00:07:51,904 - Oh, how awful! - Someone should call the police. 159 00:07:51,939 --> 00:07:53,004 No need. 160 00:07:53,416 --> 00:07:55,707 Chief Inspector Smith, known as 'the Doctor'. 161 00:07:55,742 --> 00:07:57,677 Miss Noble's the plucky young girl who helps me out. 162 00:07:57,920 --> 00:07:59,470 - I say! - Mrs Christie was right. 163 00:07:59,505 --> 00:08:01,637 Go into the sitting room. I will question each of you in turn. 164 00:08:02,099 --> 00:08:03,560 Come along. Do as the Doctor says... 165 00:08:03,884 --> 00:08:05,321 ...leave the room undisturbed. 166 00:08:06,547 --> 00:08:08,616 "The plucky young girl who helps me out?" 167 00:08:08,710 --> 00:08:10,548 No policewomen in 1926. 168 00:08:10,583 --> 00:08:13,377 I'll pluck you in a minute. Why don't we phone the real police? 169 00:08:13,408 --> 00:08:16,086 Well, the last thing we want is PC Plod sticking his nose in. 170 00:08:16,558 --> 00:08:18,837 Especially... 171 00:08:18,872 --> 00:08:20,337 ...now I've found this. 172 00:08:21,350 --> 00:08:22,521 Morphic residue. 173 00:08:22,556 --> 00:08:25,207 Morphic? Doesn't sound very 1926. 174 00:08:25,242 --> 00:08:27,885 Gets left behind when certain species genetically re-encode. 175 00:08:29,118 --> 00:08:30,559 The murderer's an alien? 176 00:08:30,594 --> 00:08:32,993 Which means one of that lot is an alien in human form. 177 00:08:33,028 --> 00:08:34,523 Yeah, but think about it. 178 00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:38,117 There's a murder, a mystery, and Agatha Christie. 179 00:08:38,383 --> 00:08:39,940 So? Happens to me all the time. 180 00:08:41,036 --> 00:08:43,079 No, but isn't that a bit weird? 181 00:08:43,511 --> 00:08:46,466 Agatha Christie didn't walk around surrounded by murders. 182 00:08:46,501 --> 00:08:47,501 Not really. 183 00:08:47,901 --> 00:08:51,564 I mean, that's like meeting Charles Dickens and he's surrounded by ghosts... 184 00:08:51,668 --> 00:08:52,901 ...at Christmas. 185 00:08:54,057 --> 00:08:55,668 - Well... - Oh, come on! 186 00:08:55,810 --> 00:08:57,288 It's not like we could drive across country... 187 00:08:57,289 --> 00:08:59,740 ...and find Enid Blyton having tea with Noddy. 188 00:09:00,255 --> 00:09:02,311 Could we? Noddy's not real. 189 00:09:02,346 --> 00:09:05,041 Is he? Tell me there's no Noddy. 190 00:09:05,623 --> 00:09:06,623 There's no Noddy. 191 00:09:07,502 --> 00:09:08,964 Next thing you know, you'll be telling me it's like... 192 00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:10,796 ...Murder on The Orient Express... 193 00:09:10,822 --> 00:09:12,037 ...and they all did it! 194 00:09:12,072 --> 00:09:14,789 - Murder on the Orient Express? - Oh, yeah. 195 00:09:14,824 --> 00:09:15,824 One of your best! 196 00:09:15,976 --> 00:09:17,462 But not yet. 197 00:09:17,643 --> 00:09:19,712 - Marvellous idea though. - Yeah. 198 00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:23,027 Tell you what, copyright Donna Noble, okay? 199 00:09:23,062 --> 00:09:26,134 Anyway! Agatha and I will question the suspects. 200 00:09:26,169 --> 00:09:27,865 Donna, you search the bedrooms. Look for clues. 201 00:09:28,052 --> 00:09:29,723 Any more residue. You'll need this. 202 00:09:30,918 --> 00:09:32,565 - Is that for real? - Go on. 203 00:09:32,783 --> 00:09:33,909 You're ever so plucky. 204 00:09:36,145 --> 00:09:38,031 Right then! Solving a murder mystery... 205 00:09:38,066 --> 00:09:39,334 ...with Agatha Christie, brilliant! 206 00:09:39,714 --> 00:09:42,527 How like a man to have fun, while there's disaster all around him. 207 00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:43,833 Sorry, yeah. 208 00:09:43,968 --> 00:09:45,438 I'll work with you, gladly. 209 00:09:45,711 --> 00:09:49,288 But for the sake of justice. Not your own amusement. 210 00:09:54,226 --> 00:09:56,515 Now then, Reverend. 211 00:09:57,154 --> 00:09:58,754 Where were you at a quarter past four? 212 00:09:59,417 --> 00:10:00,741 Let me think. 213 00:10:02,053 --> 00:10:03,807 Why yes, I remember. 214 00:10:05,008 --> 00:10:07,014 I was unpacking in my room. 215 00:10:07,483 --> 00:10:08,507 No alibi then. 216 00:10:09,064 --> 00:10:10,064 You were alone? 217 00:10:10,888 --> 00:10:14,744 With the Lord one is never truly alone. 218 00:10:14,874 --> 00:10:15,914 And where were you? 219 00:10:16,205 --> 00:10:17,640 Let me think... I was... 220 00:10:17,795 --> 00:10:21,541 Oh, yes, I was taking a constitutional, in the fields behind the house. 221 00:10:24,293 --> 00:10:27,040 Just taking a stroll, that's all. 222 00:10:27,617 --> 00:10:29,785 - Alone? - Oh, yes, all alone. 223 00:10:29,936 --> 00:10:31,779 Totally alone! Absolutely alone. 224 00:10:32,235 --> 00:10:33,842 Completely, all of the time. 225 00:10:33,877 --> 00:10:36,177 I wandered lonely as the proverbial cloud... 226 00:10:36,688 --> 00:10:38,691 ...there was no-one else with me not at all. 227 00:10:39,934 --> 00:10:40,935 Not ever! 228 00:10:41,185 --> 00:10:42,775 And where were you? 229 00:10:42,820 --> 00:10:44,089 At a quarter past four? 230 00:10:44,613 --> 00:10:47,847 Well, I went to the toilet when I arrived, and then erm... 231 00:10:50,815 --> 00:10:52,106 Oh, yes, I remember. 232 00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:54,512 I was preparing myself... 233 00:10:54,980 --> 00:10:57,397 ...positively buzzing with excitement about the party... 234 00:10:57,432 --> 00:10:58,949 ...and the super fun of meeting Lady Eddy. 235 00:10:59,318 --> 00:11:02,946 - We've only got your word for it. - That's your problem. Not mine. 236 00:11:04,088 --> 00:11:05,469 And where were you, sir? 237 00:11:05,890 --> 00:11:08,408 Quarter past four? Dear me, let me think... 238 00:11:09,564 --> 00:11:10,661 Ah, yes, I remember. 239 00:11:12,777 --> 00:11:16,432 I was in me study reading through military memoirs. 240 00:11:17,261 --> 00:11:18,632 Fascinating stuff. 241 00:11:19,598 --> 00:11:21,647 Took me back to my days in the army. 242 00:11:22,632 --> 00:11:24,250 Started reminiscing. 243 00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:26,439 Mafeking, you know. 244 00:11:27,618 --> 00:11:28,618 Terrible war. 245 00:11:28,692 --> 00:11:29,870 Colonel, snap out of it! 246 00:11:32,968 --> 00:11:34,943 - I was in my study... - No no no. 247 00:11:34,978 --> 00:11:36,842 - Right out of it! - Oh, sorry. 248 00:11:37,525 --> 00:11:39,745 Got a bit carried away there. 249 00:11:40,234 --> 00:11:42,756 And where were you at a quarter past four, my lady? 250 00:11:43,925 --> 00:11:45,196 Now let me see. 251 00:11:47,463 --> 00:11:48,618 Yes, I remember. 252 00:11:49,150 --> 00:11:52,601 I was sitting in the Blue Room, taking my afternoon tea. 253 00:11:52,856 --> 00:11:54,396 It's a ritual of mine. 254 00:11:54,608 --> 00:11:57,864 I needed to gather strength for the duty of hostess. 255 00:11:58,776 --> 00:12:00,426 I then proceeded to the lawn... 256 00:12:00,873 --> 00:12:03,836 ...where I met you, Doctor. And I said... 257 00:12:05,008 --> 00:12:07,887 "And who exactly might you be and what are you doing here?" 258 00:12:08,137 --> 00:12:10,411 And you said, "I'm the Doctor... 259 00:12:10,446 --> 00:12:12,563 ...and this is Miss Donna Noble." 260 00:12:12,981 --> 00:12:14,514 Yes, yes, you can stop now. 261 00:12:14,736 --> 00:12:15,828 I was there for that bit. 262 00:12:16,095 --> 00:12:17,095 Of course. 263 00:12:19,242 --> 00:12:20,282 Excuse me. 264 00:12:20,561 --> 00:12:22,629 No alibis for any of them. 265 00:12:23,515 --> 00:12:26,343 The secret adversary remains hidden! 266 00:12:28,213 --> 00:12:29,505 We must look for a motive... 267 00:12:29,692 --> 00:12:33,988 ...use "the little grey cells". 268 00:12:34,144 --> 00:12:35,442 Oh, yes, little grey cells... 269 00:12:35,732 --> 00:12:36,939 ...good old Poirot. 270 00:12:37,278 --> 00:12:40,199 Do you know, I've been to Belgium, yeah. 271 00:12:41,398 --> 00:12:42,398 I remember. 272 00:12:43,747 --> 00:12:46,602 I was deep in the Ardennes, trying to find Charlemagne. 273 00:12:47,781 --> 00:12:49,942 He'd been kidnapped by an insane computer. 274 00:12:51,429 --> 00:12:52,521 Doctor! 275 00:12:52,799 --> 00:12:53,809 Sorry. 276 00:12:53,897 --> 00:12:55,757 Charlemagne lived centuries ago. 277 00:12:55,999 --> 00:12:57,437 I've got a very good memory. 278 00:12:58,064 --> 00:13:00,664 For such an experienced detective, you missed a big clue. 279 00:13:00,672 --> 00:13:02,483 That bit of paper on the fire? 280 00:13:02,518 --> 00:13:04,649 - You were looking the other way! - Yeah, but I saw your reflection... 281 00:13:04,686 --> 00:13:05,817 ...in the glass of the bookcase. 282 00:13:07,828 --> 00:13:09,242 You crafty man... 283 00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:12,438 ...and this is all that was left. 284 00:13:16,032 --> 00:13:17,556 What's that first letter? N or M? 285 00:13:17,591 --> 00:13:19,080 It's an M. The word is maiden. 286 00:13:19,115 --> 00:13:20,145 MAIDEN! 287 00:13:20,669 --> 00:13:21,678 What does that mean? 288 00:13:22,545 --> 00:13:23,875 We're still no further forward. 289 00:13:23,942 --> 00:13:26,621 Our nemesis remains at large. 290 00:13:26,888 --> 00:13:28,457 Unless Miss Noble's found something. 291 00:13:37,609 --> 00:13:39,295 You won't find anything in there. 292 00:13:40,983 --> 00:13:44,115 - How come it's locked? - Lady Eddison commands it to be so. 293 00:13:44,428 --> 00:13:46,927 And I 'command it' to be otherwise. 294 00:13:47,220 --> 00:13:48,735 Scotland Yard, pip-pip. 295 00:13:52,465 --> 00:13:54,113 Why's it locked in the first place? 296 00:13:54,623 --> 00:13:57,775 Many years ago, when my father was butler to the family. 297 00:13:58,260 --> 00:14:01,010 Lady Eddison returned from India with malaria. 298 00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:04,094 She locked herself in this room for six months until she recovered. 299 00:14:04,375 --> 00:14:08,525 Since then, the room has remained undisturbed. 300 00:14:12,312 --> 00:14:13,628 There's nothing in here. 301 00:14:15,186 --> 00:14:16,364 How long's it been empty? 302 00:14:17,070 --> 00:14:18,249 Forty years. 303 00:14:19,158 --> 00:14:20,690 Why would she seal it off? 304 00:14:22,822 --> 00:14:24,651 All right, I need to investigate, you just... 305 00:14:24,686 --> 00:14:26,481 ...buttle off. 306 00:14:46,535 --> 00:14:48,557 ...1926, they've still got bees. 307 00:14:51,540 --> 00:14:54,880 Oh, what a noise! All right, busy bee, I'll let you out. 308 00:14:55,104 --> 00:14:56,179 Hold on. 309 00:14:56,780 --> 00:15:00,959 I shall find you with my amazing powers of detection. 310 00:15:13,782 --> 00:15:14,782 That's impossible! 311 00:15:18,137 --> 00:15:19,331 Doctor! 312 00:15:25,968 --> 00:15:26,968 Doctor! 313 00:15:32,589 --> 00:15:35,308 It's a giant wasp! 314 00:15:35,431 --> 00:15:36,569 What d'you mean, a giant wasp? 315 00:15:36,604 --> 00:15:39,549 I mean a wasp that's giant! 316 00:15:39,584 --> 00:15:41,473 It's only a silly little insect. 317 00:15:41,624 --> 00:15:43,025 When I say giant... 318 00:15:43,191 --> 00:15:44,487 ...I don't mean big! 319 00:15:44,522 --> 00:15:46,809 I mean flippin' enormous! 320 00:15:47,267 --> 00:15:48,625 Look at its sting! 321 00:15:49,863 --> 00:15:50,922 Let me see. 322 00:15:52,430 --> 00:15:53,512 It's gone. 323 00:15:53,673 --> 00:15:54,866 Buzzed off. 324 00:15:57,769 --> 00:15:59,512 But that's fascinating. 325 00:15:59,547 --> 00:16:01,221 Don't touch it! 326 00:16:01,256 --> 00:16:02,736 Don't touch it! Let me... 327 00:16:03,783 --> 00:16:04,783 Giant wasp. 328 00:16:05,639 --> 00:16:09,106 Well, tons of amorphous insectivorous lifeforms... 329 00:16:09,719 --> 00:16:11,462 ...but none in this galactic vector. 330 00:16:11,642 --> 00:16:14,113 I think I understood some of those words. 331 00:16:14,217 --> 00:16:16,460 Enough to know that you're completely potty. 332 00:16:16,581 --> 00:16:18,454 Lost its sting though, that makes it defenceless. 333 00:16:18,593 --> 00:16:21,166 Creature this size, got to be able to grow a new one. 334 00:16:21,189 --> 00:16:22,729 Can we return to sanity? 335 00:16:23,179 --> 00:16:25,675 There are no such things as giant wasps! 336 00:16:25,710 --> 00:16:28,375 Exactly. So the question is... 337 00:16:29,098 --> 00:16:30,297 ...what's it doing here? 338 00:16:32,664 --> 00:16:36,177 A murder! That's put the cat among the pigeons, and no mistake! 339 00:16:36,212 --> 00:16:38,202 It's not the stuff of gossip, Mrs Hart. 340 00:16:38,237 --> 00:16:39,308 Continue with your work. 341 00:16:39,954 --> 00:16:41,662 But who'd want to do in the old Professor? 342 00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:44,192 He was always asking questions about that book of his. 343 00:16:44,493 --> 00:16:45,509 What was all that about? 344 00:16:45,565 --> 00:16:48,107 A dead man's folly, nothing more. 345 00:16:49,696 --> 00:16:51,813 Though perhaps, if he asked about... 346 00:16:53,101 --> 00:16:54,873 I must go and see mylady. 347 00:17:15,134 --> 00:17:20,134 The poor little child... 348 00:17:23,534 --> 00:17:24,565 There! 349 00:17:27,033 --> 00:17:28,079 Come on! 350 00:17:28,767 --> 00:17:29,841 Hey, this makes a change... 351 00:17:29,904 --> 00:17:31,999 ...there's a monster, and we're chasing it. 352 00:17:32,138 --> 00:17:33,458 Can't be a monster! It's a trick. 353 00:17:33,654 --> 00:17:34,910 They do it with mirrors! 354 00:17:40,758 --> 00:17:42,010 By all that's holy! 355 00:17:42,431 --> 00:17:44,674 Oh, but you are wonderful! 356 00:17:47,814 --> 00:17:50,234 Now just stop, stop there. 357 00:17:55,836 --> 00:17:56,928 Oi! Fly boy! 358 00:18:00,309 --> 00:18:01,346 Don't let it get away! 359 00:18:01,476 --> 00:18:03,355 Quick, before it reverts back to human form. 360 00:18:04,129 --> 00:18:05,438 Where are you? Come on! 361 00:18:05,926 --> 00:18:08,342 There's nowhere to run! Show yourself! 362 00:18:14,937 --> 00:18:16,435 That's just cheating! 363 00:18:17,379 --> 00:18:20,358 My faithful companion. This is terrible. 364 00:18:20,651 --> 00:18:23,873 Excuse me, my lady, but... She was on her way to tell you something. 365 00:18:24,386 --> 00:18:25,560 She never found me. 366 00:18:26,308 --> 00:18:28,618 She had an appointment with death instead. 367 00:18:28,946 --> 00:18:30,856 She said, "The poor little child." 368 00:18:31,032 --> 00:18:32,489 Does that mean anything to anyone? 369 00:18:33,466 --> 00:18:35,450 No children in this house for years. 370 00:18:35,850 --> 00:18:38,217 Highly unlikely there will be. 371 00:18:40,009 --> 00:18:42,914 Mrs Christie, you must have twigged something! 372 00:18:43,398 --> 00:18:45,819 You've written simply the best detective stories. 373 00:18:46,188 --> 00:18:49,016 Tell us, what would Poirot do? 374 00:18:49,393 --> 00:18:51,753 Heaven's sake, cards on the table woman! 375 00:18:51,847 --> 00:18:53,102 You should be helping us! 376 00:18:53,621 --> 00:18:54,677 But... 377 00:18:55,738 --> 00:18:56,946 ...I'm merely a writer. 378 00:18:56,949 --> 00:18:58,707 Surely you can crack it. 379 00:18:59,131 --> 00:19:02,090 These events, they're exactly like one of your plots. 380 00:19:02,177 --> 00:19:05,459 That's what I've been saying! Agatha, that's gotta mean something. 381 00:19:05,639 --> 00:19:06,872 But what? 382 00:19:07,197 --> 00:19:09,870 I've no answers. None. 383 00:19:10,514 --> 00:19:12,809 I'm sorry, all of you, I'm truly sorry. 384 00:19:13,527 --> 00:19:14,686 But I've failed. 385 00:19:15,243 --> 00:19:17,297 If anyone can help us, then it's the Doctor, not me. 386 00:19:27,470 --> 00:19:28,552 Do you know what I think? 387 00:19:28,982 --> 00:19:30,294 Those books of yours. 388 00:19:30,621 --> 00:19:32,612 One day, they could turn them into films! 389 00:19:33,013 --> 00:19:34,652 They could be talking pictures! 390 00:19:35,115 --> 00:19:36,245 Talking pictures? 391 00:19:36,619 --> 00:19:39,121 Pictures that talk? What do you mean? 392 00:19:39,448 --> 00:19:40,724 Oh, blimey, I've done it again. 393 00:19:41,778 --> 00:19:43,464 I appreciate you trying to be kind. 394 00:19:44,060 --> 00:19:45,060 But you're right. 395 00:19:45,683 --> 00:19:47,547 These murders are like my own creations. 396 00:19:48,471 --> 00:19:49,988 It's as though someone's mocking me. 397 00:19:50,307 --> 00:19:52,498 And I've had enough scorn for one lifetime. 398 00:19:52,685 --> 00:19:53,685 Yeah. 399 00:19:54,341 --> 00:19:57,423 Thing is, I had this bloke once. 400 00:19:57,507 --> 00:20:01,508 I was engaged, and I loved him, I really did. 401 00:20:01,833 --> 00:20:04,059 Turns out, he was lying through his teeth. 402 00:20:04,277 --> 00:20:06,272 But d'you know what? I moved on. 403 00:20:06,717 --> 00:20:08,944 I was lucky, I found the Doctor. 404 00:20:08,979 --> 00:20:10,069 It's changed my life. 405 00:20:11,102 --> 00:20:12,728 There's always someone else. 406 00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:14,213 I see. 407 00:20:14,464 --> 00:20:16,389 Is my marriage the stuff of gossip, now? 408 00:20:16,424 --> 00:20:17,477 No, I just... 409 00:20:18,396 --> 00:20:19,500 Sorry. 410 00:20:20,956 --> 00:20:22,178 No matter. 411 00:20:22,289 --> 00:20:23,559 The stories are true. 412 00:20:23,666 --> 00:20:25,323 I found my husband with another woman. 413 00:20:25,949 --> 00:20:28,644 A younger, prettier woman. Isn't it always the way? 414 00:20:28,873 --> 00:20:32,196 Well, mine was with a Giant Spider... 415 00:20:32,473 --> 00:20:33,635 ...but same difference. 416 00:20:33,901 --> 00:20:36,838 You and the Doctor talk such wonderful nonsense. 417 00:20:36,873 --> 00:20:39,776 Agatha, people love your books, they really do. 418 00:20:39,811 --> 00:20:42,724 They're gonna be reading them for years to come. 419 00:20:43,113 --> 00:20:46,109 If only. Try as I might, it's hardly great literature. 420 00:20:46,580 --> 00:20:47,824 Now that's beyond me. 421 00:20:48,788 --> 00:20:50,944 I'm afraid my books will be forgotten... 422 00:20:51,323 --> 00:20:53,099 ...like ephemera. 423 00:20:55,373 --> 00:20:56,773 Hello, what's that? 424 00:20:57,990 --> 00:21:00,251 Those flower beds were perfectly neat earlier. 425 00:21:00,380 --> 00:21:02,672 Now some of the stalks are bent over. 426 00:21:07,535 --> 00:21:08,676 There you go! 427 00:21:09,063 --> 00:21:10,506 Who'd ever notice that? 428 00:21:11,063 --> 00:21:12,194 You're brilliant! 429 00:21:15,645 --> 00:21:17,331 Oh, someone came here tooled up. 430 00:21:17,952 --> 00:21:19,950 The sort of stuff a thief would use. 431 00:21:20,164 --> 00:21:21,819 The Unicorn? He's here! 432 00:21:22,357 --> 00:21:23,909 The Unicorn and the wasp. 433 00:21:24,593 --> 00:21:26,932 Your drinks, ladies. Doctor. 434 00:21:26,967 --> 00:21:28,272 Very good, Greeves. 435 00:21:31,421 --> 00:21:33,147 How about the science stuff? What did you find? 436 00:21:34,891 --> 00:21:36,499 Vespiform sting. 437 00:21:36,728 --> 00:21:39,419 Vespiforms have got hives in the Silfrax galaxy. 438 00:21:39,454 --> 00:21:41,369 Again, you talk like Edward Lear. 439 00:21:41,386 --> 00:21:44,862 But for some reason, this one's behaving like a character in one of your books. 440 00:21:44,899 --> 00:21:47,297 Come on, Agatha, what would Miss Marple do? 441 00:21:47,526 --> 00:21:49,262 She'd have overheard something vital... 442 00:21:49,297 --> 00:21:51,737 ...because the murderer thinks she's a harmless old lady. 443 00:21:52,030 --> 00:21:53,365 Clever idea. 444 00:21:54,534 --> 00:21:56,795 Miss Marple? Who writes those? 445 00:21:57,601 --> 00:21:59,950 Um... Copyright Donna Noble, add it to the list. 446 00:21:59,985 --> 00:22:02,299 - Donna... - Okay, we could split the copyright. 447 00:22:02,334 --> 00:22:03,334 No. 448 00:22:03,337 --> 00:22:05,197 Something's inhibiting my enzymes. 449 00:22:08,109 --> 00:22:09,109 Ah! I've been poisoned! 450 00:22:10,222 --> 00:22:11,318 What do we do? 451 00:22:11,694 --> 00:22:12,807 What do we do?! 452 00:22:12,863 --> 00:22:14,708 Bitter almonds! It's cyanide! 453 00:22:15,132 --> 00:22:16,636 Sparkling cyanide! 454 00:22:23,703 --> 00:22:24,963 - Ginger beer! - I beg your pardon? 455 00:22:24,998 --> 00:22:26,065 I need ginger beer! 456 00:22:26,393 --> 00:22:27,743 The gentleman's gone mad! 457 00:22:28,802 --> 00:22:31,545 I'm an expert in poisons, Doctor. There's no cure! 458 00:22:31,552 --> 00:22:32,723 It's fatal! 459 00:22:33,714 --> 00:22:36,302 Not for me! I can stimulate the inhibited enzymes into reversal. 460 00:22:36,337 --> 00:22:37,783 Protein! I need protein! 461 00:22:38,712 --> 00:22:40,337 - Walnuts? - Brilliant! 462 00:22:43,541 --> 00:22:45,502 I can't understand you! How many words? 463 00:22:45,885 --> 00:22:47,056 One! One word! 464 00:22:47,181 --> 00:22:48,476 Shake, milk shake, milk? 465 00:22:48,511 --> 00:22:49,985 Milk? No, not milk? 466 00:22:50,020 --> 00:22:52,032 Hum! Shake shake shake. 467 00:22:52,302 --> 00:22:54,296 Cocktail shaker! What do you want, a Harvey Wallbanger? 468 00:22:54,331 --> 00:22:56,361 - Harvey Wallbanger?! - Well, I don't know! 469 00:22:56,396 --> 00:22:58,391 How is Harvey Wallbanger one word?! 470 00:22:58,426 --> 00:22:59,557 What do you need, Doctor?! 471 00:22:59,634 --> 00:23:02,922 Salt, I was miming salt! Salt! I need something salty! 472 00:23:03,038 --> 00:23:04,066 What about this? 473 00:23:04,608 --> 00:23:05,792 What is it? Salt! That's too salty! 474 00:23:05,827 --> 00:23:07,999 Oh, that's too salty! 475 00:23:08,018 --> 00:23:09,113 What about this?! 476 00:23:10,122 --> 00:23:11,184 - What's that? - Anchovies! 477 00:23:11,793 --> 00:23:12,826 What is it? What else? 478 00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:16,302 It's a song? Mammy? 479 00:23:17,143 --> 00:23:20,331 - I don't know, Camptown Races? - Camptown Races? 480 00:23:20,366 --> 00:23:23,045 All right then, Towering Inferno! 481 00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:24,985 It's a shock! Look! Shock! I need a shock! 482 00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:26,080 Right then. 483 00:23:26,114 --> 00:23:27,846 Big shock coming up. 484 00:23:42,309 --> 00:23:43,338 Detox! 485 00:23:44,956 --> 00:23:46,146 I must do that more often! 486 00:23:47,414 --> 00:23:49,484 I mean the detox. 487 00:23:49,849 --> 00:23:52,182 Doctor, you are impossible! 488 00:23:52,978 --> 00:23:53,994 Who are you? 489 00:23:59,359 --> 00:24:01,160 A terrible day for all of us. 490 00:24:02,090 --> 00:24:03,747 The Professor struck down. 491 00:24:04,616 --> 00:24:07,050 Miss Chandrakala, cruelly taken from us. 492 00:24:07,725 --> 00:24:09,622 And yet, we still take dinner. 493 00:24:09,657 --> 00:24:11,138 We are British, Doctor. 494 00:24:12,339 --> 00:24:13,832 What else must we do? 495 00:24:14,366 --> 00:24:16,135 Then, someone tried to poison me. 496 00:24:17,524 --> 00:24:20,517 Any one of you had the chance to put cyanide in my drink. 497 00:24:21,323 --> 00:24:22,702 But it rather gave me an idea. 498 00:24:22,737 --> 00:24:24,942 - And what would that be? - Well. 499 00:24:25,627 --> 00:24:26,722 Poison. 500 00:24:27,412 --> 00:24:28,492 Drink up! 501 00:24:31,214 --> 00:24:33,622 I've laced the soup with pepper. 502 00:24:34,710 --> 00:24:36,070 Ah, I thought it was jolly spicy. 503 00:24:36,392 --> 00:24:38,418 But the active ingredient of pepper... 504 00:24:38,474 --> 00:24:39,522 ...is piperine. 505 00:24:40,226 --> 00:24:43,179 Traditionally used as an insecticide. 506 00:24:46,860 --> 00:24:48,141 So... Anyone got the shivers? 507 00:24:53,796 --> 00:24:55,494 - What the deuce is that?! - Listen! Listen! Listen! 508 00:24:57,449 --> 00:24:58,782 No, it can't be. 509 00:25:04,162 --> 00:25:06,118 Show yourself, demon! 510 00:25:06,444 --> 00:25:07,544 No, don't. 511 00:25:09,148 --> 00:25:10,989 Dont! Dont, stay where you are! 512 00:25:19,031 --> 00:25:20,201 Out, out, out! 513 00:25:23,861 --> 00:25:26,195 Not you, Agatha. You've got a long life to lead yet. 514 00:25:26,587 --> 00:25:27,947 Well, we know the butler didn't do it! 515 00:25:28,239 --> 00:25:29,329 Then, who did? 516 00:25:38,198 --> 00:25:39,222 My jewellery. 517 00:25:40,244 --> 00:25:42,393 The Firestone, it's gone! 518 00:25:42,869 --> 00:25:43,871 Stolen! 519 00:25:44,346 --> 00:25:45,346 Roger. 520 00:25:49,421 --> 00:25:52,342 My son. My child! 521 00:26:13,974 --> 00:26:15,394 That poor footman. 522 00:26:17,059 --> 00:26:19,319 Roger's dead and he can't even mourn him. 523 00:26:19,861 --> 00:26:22,276 1926, it's more like the Dark Ages. 524 00:26:23,134 --> 00:26:24,716 Did you enquire after the necklace? 525 00:26:25,268 --> 00:26:26,888 Lady Eddison brought it back from India. 526 00:26:27,403 --> 00:26:28,613 It's worth thousands. 527 00:26:28,653 --> 00:26:30,894 This thing can sting, it can fly... 528 00:26:32,752 --> 00:26:36,099 ...it could wipe us all out in seconds. Why's it playing this game? 529 00:26:36,255 --> 00:26:38,458 Every murder is essentially the same. 530 00:26:39,092 --> 00:26:41,596 They are committed because somebody wants something. 531 00:26:41,631 --> 00:26:44,157 - But, what does a Vespiform want? - Doctor, stop it. 532 00:26:44,554 --> 00:26:46,510 The murderer is as human as you or I. 533 00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:49,250 You're right... 534 00:26:50,380 --> 00:26:53,110 ...I've been so caught up with Giant Wasps, I've forgotten. 535 00:26:53,458 --> 00:26:55,716 - You're the expert! - I'm not, I've told you. 536 00:26:55,980 --> 00:26:58,822 I'm just a purveyor of nonsense. 537 00:26:58,857 --> 00:27:01,478 No, no, no, cos plenty of people write detective stories... 538 00:27:01,513 --> 00:27:03,390 ...but yours are the best, and why? 539 00:27:03,465 --> 00:27:05,861 Why are you so good, Agatha Christie? 540 00:27:06,523 --> 00:27:08,057 Because you understand! 541 00:27:08,864 --> 00:27:12,810 You've lived, you've fought, you've had your heart broken. 542 00:27:14,087 --> 00:27:15,511 You know about people... 543 00:27:16,175 --> 00:27:18,721 ...their passions, their hope and despair and anger... 544 00:27:18,764 --> 00:27:21,531 ...all of those tiny, huge things... 545 00:27:21,566 --> 00:27:24,394 ...that can turn the most ordinary person into a killer. 546 00:27:26,046 --> 00:27:27,901 Just think, Agatha! 547 00:27:28,078 --> 00:27:29,779 If anyone can solve this... 548 00:27:30,654 --> 00:27:31,945 ...it's you! 549 00:27:34,521 --> 00:27:37,449 I've called you here, on this endless night... 550 00:27:38,450 --> 00:27:40,865 ...because we have a murderer in our midst. 551 00:27:41,092 --> 00:27:43,693 And when it comes to detection, there's none finer. 552 00:27:44,138 --> 00:27:47,726 Ladies and gentlemen. I give you... Agatha Christie. 553 00:27:51,201 --> 00:27:52,507 This is a crooked house. 554 00:27:53,352 --> 00:27:55,146 A house of secrets. 555 00:27:56,265 --> 00:27:59,150 To understand the solution we must examine them all. 556 00:28:00,224 --> 00:28:01,581 Starting with you... 557 00:28:02,584 --> 00:28:03,780 ...Miss Redmond. 558 00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:08,864 But I'm innocent, surely? 559 00:28:09,184 --> 00:28:10,469 You've never met these people. 560 00:28:10,959 --> 00:28:13,282 And these people had never met you! 561 00:28:14,155 --> 00:28:17,021 I think the real Robina Redmond never left London. 562 00:28:17,078 --> 00:28:19,087 - You're impersonating her! - How silly! 563 00:28:19,874 --> 00:28:20,887 What proof do you have? 564 00:28:21,737 --> 00:28:23,920 You said you'd been to the toilet. 565 00:28:24,746 --> 00:28:27,537 Oh, I know this! If she was really posh, she'd say loo. 566 00:28:27,855 --> 00:28:31,591 Earlier today, Miss Noble and I found this on the lawn. 567 00:28:32,304 --> 00:28:34,369 Right beneath your bathroom window. 568 00:28:35,136 --> 00:28:37,820 You heard Miss Noble was searching the bedrooms and panicked. 569 00:28:38,038 --> 00:28:40,105 You ran upstairs and disposed ofthe evidence. 570 00:28:43,903 --> 00:28:45,800 I've never seen that thing before in my life! 571 00:28:47,121 --> 00:28:48,164 What's inside it? 572 00:28:48,825 --> 00:28:51,022 The tools of your trade, Miss Redmond. 573 00:28:52,034 --> 00:28:53,612 Or should I say... 574 00:28:54,592 --> 00:28:55,848 ...the Unicorn! 575 00:28:57,624 --> 00:29:00,166 You came to this house with one sole intention. 576 00:29:00,532 --> 00:29:02,456 To steal the Firestone! 577 00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:05,262 Oh, all right then. 578 00:29:06,284 --> 00:29:07,439 It's a fair cop. 579 00:29:08,430 --> 00:29:10,372 Yes, I'm the bleedin' Unicorn! 580 00:29:11,365 --> 00:29:13,130 Ever so nice to meet ya,I don't fink. 581 00:29:13,518 --> 00:29:15,630 I took my chance in the dark, and nabbed it. 582 00:29:16,791 --> 00:29:18,135 Well, go on then, you knobs. 583 00:29:18,977 --> 00:29:19,977 Arrest me. 584 00:29:20,919 --> 00:29:22,353 Sling me in jail! 585 00:29:23,635 --> 00:29:25,163 So, is she the murderer? 586 00:29:25,533 --> 00:29:26,643 Don't be so thick! 587 00:29:26,953 --> 00:29:29,311 I might be a thief, but I ain't no killer. 588 00:29:29,720 --> 00:29:30,720 Quite. 589 00:29:31,117 --> 00:29:32,881 There are darker motives at work. 590 00:29:32,978 --> 00:29:36,792 And in examining this household, we come to you... 591 00:29:37,993 --> 00:29:39,003 ...Colonel! 592 00:29:43,158 --> 00:29:44,158 Damn it, woman! 593 00:29:44,570 --> 00:29:46,696 You with your perspicacity! 594 00:29:46,945 --> 00:29:48,405 You've rumbled me! 595 00:29:50,253 --> 00:29:51,985 Hugh! You can walk! 596 00:29:53,047 --> 00:29:54,049 But why?! 597 00:29:54,209 --> 00:29:55,258 My darling... 598 00:29:55,711 --> 00:29:58,775 ...how else could I be certain of keeping you by my side? 599 00:29:58,950 --> 00:30:00,089 I don't understand. 600 00:30:00,090 --> 00:30:02,096 You're still a beautiful woman, Clemency. 601 00:30:02,396 --> 00:30:04,805 Sooner or later some chap will turn your head. 602 00:30:05,358 --> 00:30:06,616 I couldn't bear that. 603 00:30:07,341 --> 00:30:08,555 Staying in the chair... 604 00:30:08,973 --> 00:30:11,558 ...was the only way I could be certain of keeping you. 605 00:30:12,430 --> 00:30:14,311 Confound it, Mrs Christie... 606 00:30:14,442 --> 00:30:15,969 ...how did you discover the truth? 607 00:30:16,769 --> 00:30:17,984 Actually, I had no idea. 608 00:30:18,019 --> 00:30:19,672 I was just going to say you're completely innocent. 609 00:30:22,146 --> 00:30:23,146 Sorry. 610 00:30:23,927 --> 00:30:26,365 - Shall I sit down then? - I think you better had. 611 00:30:28,123 --> 00:30:31,040 - So, he's not the murderer? - Indeed not. 612 00:30:32,252 --> 00:30:33,330 To find the truth... 613 00:30:34,018 --> 00:30:35,018 ...let's return... 614 00:30:36,388 --> 00:30:37,456 ...to this. 615 00:30:38,565 --> 00:30:41,360 Far more than the Unicorn's object of desire. 616 00:30:43,134 --> 00:30:45,394 The Firestone has quite a history. 617 00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:50,144 - Lady Eddison... - I've done nothing! 618 00:30:50,359 --> 00:30:51,892 You brought it back from India, did you not? 619 00:30:52,204 --> 00:30:53,631 Before you met the Colonel. 620 00:30:54,956 --> 00:30:56,711 You came home with malaria... 621 00:30:57,319 --> 00:31:00,154 ...and confined yourself to this house for six months... 622 00:31:00,616 --> 00:31:02,749 ...in a room that has been kept locked ever since. 623 00:31:02,784 --> 00:31:04,116 Which I rather think means... 624 00:31:04,151 --> 00:31:06,479 - Stop. Please. - I'm so sorry. 625 00:31:06,945 --> 00:31:08,854 But you had fallen pregnant in India. 626 00:31:09,453 --> 00:31:11,077 Unmarried and ashamed... 627 00:31:11,350 --> 00:31:13,989 ...you hurried back to England with your confidante, a young maid... 628 00:31:14,024 --> 00:31:16,238 ...later to become housekeeper. Miss Chandrakala. 629 00:31:16,398 --> 00:31:18,217 Clemency, is this true? 630 00:31:19,150 --> 00:31:20,178 My poor baby. 631 00:31:20,965 --> 00:31:22,331 I had to give him away. 632 00:31:22,692 --> 00:31:23,840 The shame of it. 633 00:31:24,219 --> 00:31:27,085 - But you've never said a word... - I had no choice. 634 00:31:27,327 --> 00:31:29,937 Imagine the scandal. The family name! 635 00:31:30,350 --> 00:31:32,367 I'm British, I carry on! 636 00:31:33,025 --> 00:31:35,110 And it was no ordinary pregnancy. 637 00:31:36,696 --> 00:31:37,883 How can you know that? 638 00:31:38,148 --> 00:31:39,679 Scuse me, Agatha, this is my territory. 639 00:31:39,714 --> 00:31:41,515 But when you heard that buzzing sound in the dining room... 640 00:31:41,533 --> 00:31:43,550 ...you said, "It can't be." 641 00:31:44,881 --> 00:31:46,042 Why did you say that? 642 00:31:46,812 --> 00:31:47,909 You'd never believe it. 643 00:31:47,944 --> 00:31:52,078 The Doctor has opened my mind to believe many things. 644 00:31:53,373 --> 00:31:56,752 It was forty years ago in the heat of Delhi, late one night. 645 00:32:00,134 --> 00:32:02,756 I was alone. And that's when I saw it. 646 00:32:03,215 --> 00:32:05,498 A dazzling light in the sky. 647 00:32:06,483 --> 00:32:08,233 The next day, he came to the house. 648 00:32:08,967 --> 00:32:12,036 Christopher, the most handsome man I'd ever seen. 649 00:32:12,931 --> 00:32:16,338 Our love blazed like a wildfire. 650 00:32:17,552 --> 00:32:19,504 I held nothing back. 651 00:32:22,432 --> 00:32:23,604 And in return... 652 00:32:24,259 --> 00:32:27,805 ...he showed me the incredible truth about himself. 653 00:32:28,399 --> 00:32:31,381 He'd made himself human, to learn about us. 654 00:32:31,810 --> 00:32:34,774 This was his true shape. 655 00:32:35,753 --> 00:32:37,847 I loved him so much, it didn't matter. 656 00:32:38,385 --> 00:32:40,370 But he was stolen from me. 657 00:32:40,568 --> 00:32:43,306 ...1885, the year of the great monsoon. 658 00:32:44,527 --> 00:32:47,277 The River Jumna rose up and broke its banks. 659 00:32:47,618 --> 00:32:49,252 He was taken at the flood. 660 00:32:51,653 --> 00:32:56,218 But Christopher left me a gift, a jewel like no other. 661 00:32:56,253 --> 00:32:58,830 I wore it always. Part of me never forgot. 662 00:32:59,579 --> 00:33:00,974 I kept it close. 663 00:33:02,501 --> 00:33:03,573 Always. 664 00:33:03,659 --> 00:33:06,442 Just like a man, flashes his family jewels... 665 00:33:06,477 --> 00:33:08,031 ...and you end up with a bun in the oven! 666 00:33:08,416 --> 00:33:10,074 A "poor little child". 667 00:33:10,944 --> 00:33:14,036 Forty years ago, Miss Chandrakala took that newborn babe to an orphanage. 668 00:33:14,131 --> 00:33:16,396 But Professor Peach worked it out. 669 00:33:16,612 --> 00:33:17,950 He found the birth certificate. 670 00:33:18,114 --> 00:33:19,714 Oh, that's Maiden... maiden name! 671 00:33:19,798 --> 00:33:20,798 Precisely. 672 00:33:20,940 --> 00:33:22,818 - So, she killed him? - I did not! 673 00:33:23,097 --> 00:33:26,022 Miss Chandrakala feared that the Professor had unearthed your secret. 674 00:33:26,846 --> 00:33:28,888 - She was coming to warn you. - So, she killed her? 675 00:33:28,923 --> 00:33:31,268 - I did not! - Lady Eddison... 676 00:33:32,244 --> 00:33:33,454 ...is innocent. 677 00:33:34,490 --> 00:33:36,896 Because at this point, Doctor. 678 00:33:37,778 --> 00:33:39,215 Thank you. At this point... 679 00:33:39,250 --> 00:33:42,276 ...when we consider the lies and the secrets... 680 00:33:42,359 --> 00:33:43,797 ...and the key to these events... 681 00:33:44,250 --> 00:33:45,523 ...then we have to consider... 682 00:33:46,303 --> 00:33:48,315 ...it was you, Donna Noble! 683 00:33:49,539 --> 00:33:50,539 What?! 684 00:33:50,562 --> 00:33:51,575 Who did I kill?! 685 00:33:51,610 --> 00:33:53,353 No, but you said it, all along. 686 00:33:53,581 --> 00:33:54,663 The vital clue. 687 00:33:54,995 --> 00:33:57,348 That this whole thing is being acted out like a murder mystery. 688 00:33:57,519 --> 00:33:58,607 Which means... 689 00:33:59,847 --> 00:34:02,113 ...it was you, Agatha Christie! 690 00:34:02,817 --> 00:34:04,731 I beg your pardon, sir! 691 00:34:04,934 --> 00:34:06,245 - So, she killed them? - No. 692 00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:09,733 But she wrote! She wrote those brilliant, clever books! 693 00:34:09,735 --> 00:34:11,251 And who's her greatest admirer? 694 00:34:11,753 --> 00:34:13,858 The moving finger points... 695 00:34:14,163 --> 00:34:15,254 ...at you... 696 00:34:15,526 --> 00:34:17,761 - Lady Eddison! - Leave me alone! 697 00:34:18,219 --> 00:34:20,021 - So, she did kill them? - No! 698 00:34:20,350 --> 00:34:21,432 But just think. 699 00:34:21,889 --> 00:34:23,545 Last Thursday night, what were you doing? 700 00:34:24,511 --> 00:34:25,603 I was... 701 00:34:26,538 --> 00:34:27,815 ...I was in the library... 702 00:34:30,034 --> 00:34:32,052 ...I was reading my favourite Agatha Christie... 703 00:34:32,276 --> 00:34:35,271 ...thinking about her plots, and how clever she must be. 704 00:34:35,628 --> 00:34:37,956 - How is that relevant? - Just think. 705 00:34:38,876 --> 00:34:40,978 What else happened on Thursday night? 706 00:34:45,077 --> 00:34:47,578 - I'm sorry? - You said, on the lawn, this afternoon. 707 00:34:48,235 --> 00:34:51,329 Last Thursday night, those boys broke into your church. 708 00:34:51,344 --> 00:34:52,401 That's correct. 709 00:34:53,342 --> 00:34:54,373 They did. 710 00:34:58,363 --> 00:35:01,361 I discovered the two of them. 711 00:35:01,362 --> 00:35:02,858 Thieves in the night, I was most perturbed. 712 00:35:04,661 --> 00:35:07,409 What the blazes are you doing boys? 713 00:35:09,543 --> 00:35:11,512 But I apprehended them. 714 00:35:11,873 --> 00:35:12,966 Really? 715 00:35:13,001 --> 00:35:15,006 A man of God, against two strong lads? 716 00:35:15,359 --> 00:35:16,633 A man in his forties? 717 00:35:17,001 --> 00:35:18,574 Or should I say... 718 00:35:19,118 --> 00:35:22,050 ...forty years old, exactly? 719 00:35:22,379 --> 00:35:23,859 Oh, my God! 720 00:35:25,693 --> 00:35:29,753 Lady Eddison. Your child, how old would he be now? 721 00:35:29,999 --> 00:35:32,728 Forty. He's forty! 722 00:35:33,295 --> 00:35:34,804 Your child has come home. 723 00:35:35,870 --> 00:35:38,401 This is poppycock! 724 00:35:39,139 --> 00:35:40,940 Oh? You said you were taught by the Christian Fathers. 725 00:35:40,993 --> 00:35:43,291 Meaning, raised in an orphanage! 726 00:35:43,708 --> 00:35:46,286 My son... Can it be? 727 00:35:46,715 --> 00:35:49,362 You found those thieves, Reverend. And you got angry! 728 00:35:49,678 --> 00:35:52,202 A proper, deep anger, for the first time in your life... 729 00:35:52,237 --> 00:35:54,157 ...and it broke the genetic lock! 730 00:35:55,006 --> 00:35:56,006 You've changed! 731 00:35:59,074 --> 00:36:00,454 Put tho-z-z-ze... 732 00:36:00,489 --> 00:36:01,835 ...thing-z-z-z... 733 00:36:02,667 --> 00:36:05,185 ...back where you found them. 734 00:36:16,127 --> 00:36:17,526 You realised your inheritance! 735 00:36:18,487 --> 00:36:19,865 After all those years... 736 00:36:21,111 --> 00:36:22,402 ...you knew who you were. 737 00:36:22,815 --> 00:36:25,797 Oh, and then it all kicks off. Cos this isn't just a jewel. 738 00:36:25,832 --> 00:36:27,918 It's a Vespiform Telepathic Recorder! 739 00:36:28,559 --> 00:36:32,482 It's part of you, your brain, your very essence. 740 00:36:32,801 --> 00:36:35,386 And when you activated... so did the Firestone! 741 00:36:35,811 --> 00:36:39,003 It beamed your full identity directly into your mind... 742 00:36:39,131 --> 00:36:40,384 ...and at the same time... 743 00:36:41,392 --> 00:36:44,821 ...it absorbed the works of Agatha Christie, directly from Lady Eddison. 744 00:36:45,761 --> 00:36:47,278 It all became part of you! 745 00:36:48,363 --> 00:36:51,532 The mechanics of those novels formed a template in your brain! 746 00:36:52,766 --> 00:36:55,804 You've killed, in this pattern, because that's what you think the world is! 747 00:36:56,655 --> 00:36:58,730 Turns out we are in the middle of a murder mystery! 748 00:36:59,146 --> 00:37:00,596 One of yours, Dame Agatha! 749 00:37:01,237 --> 00:37:02,283 Dame? 750 00:37:03,554 --> 00:37:04,554 Oh, sorry, not yet. 751 00:37:04,578 --> 00:37:05,578 So he killed them. 752 00:37:05,733 --> 00:37:07,563 Yes? Definitely? 753 00:37:08,516 --> 00:37:09,612 Yes. 754 00:37:09,643 --> 00:37:10,741 Well... 755 00:37:11,608 --> 00:37:13,954 ...this has certainly been an entertaining evening. 756 00:37:15,757 --> 00:37:19,402 Really, you can't believe any of this surely, Lady Eddiz-z-z-z-on? 757 00:37:20,347 --> 00:37:21,439 Lady who? 758 00:37:22,250 --> 00:37:24,154 Lady Eddiz-z-z-z-on. 759 00:37:24,561 --> 00:37:26,656 Little bit of buzzing there, Vicar. 760 00:37:26,691 --> 00:37:28,752 - Don't make me angry! - Why? 761 00:37:29,047 --> 00:37:30,123 What happens then? 762 00:37:30,726 --> 00:37:31,827 Damn it! 763 00:37:31,862 --> 00:37:34,296 You humanz-z-z-z-z-z-z! 764 00:37:34,303 --> 00:37:37,023 Worshipping your tribal sky godz-z-z-z! 765 00:37:37,537 --> 00:37:39,228 I am so much more! 766 00:37:39,454 --> 00:37:42,601 That night the universe exploded in my mind! 767 00:37:42,606 --> 00:37:45,273 I wanted to take what waz-z-z mine. 768 00:37:45,526 --> 00:37:47,619 And you, Agatha Christie... 769 00:37:47,652 --> 00:37:51,264 ...with your railway station bookstall romancez-z-z... 770 00:37:52,042 --> 00:37:55,789 - What'z-z-z to stop me killing you? - Oh, my dear God. 771 00:37:55,956 --> 00:37:57,123 My child! 772 00:37:57,158 --> 00:38:00,092 What's-z-z to stop me killing you all? 773 00:38:03,650 --> 00:38:05,685 - Forgive me! - No, no Clemency, come back! 774 00:38:05,697 --> 00:38:07,544 Keep away, keep away my darling! 775 00:38:08,914 --> 00:38:10,805 No! No more murder! 776 00:38:11,037 --> 00:38:12,793 If my imagination made you kill... 777 00:38:12,828 --> 00:38:15,072 ...then my imagination will find a way to stop you. 778 00:38:15,107 --> 00:38:16,385 Foul creature! 779 00:38:20,903 --> 00:38:22,614 Wait! Now it's chasing us! 780 00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:32,715 Over here! Come and get me, Reverend! 781 00:38:32,750 --> 00:38:33,955 Agatha, what are you doing? 782 00:38:34,678 --> 00:38:36,879 If I started this, Doctor, then I must stop it! 783 00:38:39,953 --> 00:38:40,986 Come on! 784 00:38:53,114 --> 00:38:55,927 It's all my fault, it's all my fault, it's all my fault! 785 00:38:58,641 --> 00:39:01,076 You said this is the night Agatha Christie loses her memory. 786 00:39:01,204 --> 00:39:02,567 Time is in flux, Donna! 787 00:39:02,891 --> 00:39:03,967 This could be the night. 788 00:39:04,002 --> 00:39:06,490 Agatha Christie loses her life and history gets changed! 789 00:39:06,808 --> 00:39:07,825 Where's she going? 790 00:39:20,201 --> 00:39:21,913 The lake! She's heading for the lake. 791 00:39:21,948 --> 00:39:22,984 What's she doing? 792 00:39:31,489 --> 00:39:33,956 Here I am! The honey in the trap! 793 00:39:34,980 --> 00:39:36,527 Come to me, Vespiform. 794 00:39:36,546 --> 00:39:37,764 She's controlling it. 795 00:39:37,802 --> 00:39:39,456 It's mind is based on her thought processes. 796 00:39:39,575 --> 00:39:41,224 - They're linked. - Quite so, Doctor! 797 00:39:41,458 --> 00:39:44,838 If I die, then this creature might die with me. 798 00:39:45,564 --> 00:39:46,676 Don't hurt her! 799 00:39:46,927 --> 00:39:48,039 You're not meant to be like this... 800 00:39:48,097 --> 00:39:49,897 ...you've got the wrong template in your mind. 801 00:39:50,251 --> 00:39:51,442 It's not listening. 802 00:40:16,231 --> 00:40:17,479 How do you kill a wasp? 803 00:40:18,805 --> 00:40:21,523 Drown it. Just like his father. 804 00:40:21,701 --> 00:40:23,569 Donna, that thing couldn't help itself. 805 00:40:24,007 --> 00:40:25,146 Neither could I. 806 00:40:30,173 --> 00:40:34,084 Death comes as the end. And justice is served. 807 00:40:35,300 --> 00:40:37,210 Murder at the Vicar's Rage. 808 00:40:39,004 --> 00:40:40,027 Needs a bit of work. 809 00:40:40,813 --> 00:40:42,786 Just one mystery left, Doctor. 810 00:40:44,156 --> 00:40:46,054 Who exactly are you? 811 00:40:49,704 --> 00:40:52,681 Oh, it's the Firestone, it's part of the Vespiform's mind! 812 00:40:52,892 --> 00:40:54,689 It's dying, and it's connected to Agatha. 813 00:41:04,365 --> 00:41:05,429 It let her go. 814 00:41:06,649 --> 00:41:09,600 Right at the end, the Vespiform chose to save someone's life. 815 00:41:10,252 --> 00:41:13,339 - Is she all right, though? - Oh, of course. The amnesia! 816 00:41:13,633 --> 00:41:16,124 Wiped her mind of everything. The wasp, the murders... 817 00:41:16,283 --> 00:41:19,254 And us. She'll forget about us. 818 00:41:19,540 --> 00:41:21,058 Yeah, but we've solved another riddle. 819 00:41:21,804 --> 00:41:23,237 The Mystery of Agatha Christie. 820 00:41:24,256 --> 00:41:27,446 And tomorrow morning, her car gets found by the side of a lake. 821 00:41:28,893 --> 00:41:32,286 A few days later she turns up in a hotel in Harrogate... 822 00:41:32,667 --> 00:41:34,554 ...with no idea of what just happened. 823 00:41:40,360 --> 00:41:41,688 No-one'll ever know. 824 00:41:43,556 --> 00:41:47,016 Lady Eddison, and the Colonel and all the staff, what about them? 825 00:41:47,096 --> 00:41:48,992 A shameful story. They'd never talk of it. 826 00:41:49,351 --> 00:41:50,351 Too British. 827 00:41:51,097 --> 00:41:54,442 While the Unicorn does a bunk, back to London town. 828 00:41:55,175 --> 00:41:56,773 She could never even say she was there. 829 00:41:57,844 --> 00:41:59,166 But, what happens to Agatha? 830 00:41:59,631 --> 00:42:01,734 Oh, great life! Met another man... 831 00:42:01,769 --> 00:42:02,821 ...married again. 832 00:42:03,169 --> 00:42:04,270 Saw the world. 833 00:42:04,672 --> 00:42:05,935 Wrote and wrote and wrote. 834 00:42:06,091 --> 00:42:07,835 She never thought her books were any good, though. 835 00:42:08,451 --> 00:42:10,660 And she must've spent all those years wondering. 836 00:42:13,555 --> 00:42:14,644 Thing is... 837 00:42:15,681 --> 00:42:17,447 ...I don't think she ever quite forgot. 838 00:42:18,568 --> 00:42:21,476 A great mind like that! Some of the details kept bleeding through. 839 00:42:22,356 --> 00:42:23,888 All the stuff her imagination could use. 840 00:42:23,923 --> 00:42:25,303 Like Miss Marple! 841 00:42:25,775 --> 00:42:27,583 I should've made her sign a contract. 842 00:42:27,618 --> 00:42:29,392 And where is it, where is it? Hold on. 843 00:42:31,703 --> 00:42:32,776 Here we go. 844 00:42:36,067 --> 00:42:37,069 C... 845 00:42:39,567 --> 00:42:41,936 ...That is C for Cybermen... 846 00:42:42,950 --> 00:42:44,341 ...C for Carrionites... 847 00:42:47,143 --> 00:42:48,225 ...and... 848 00:42:48,989 --> 00:42:50,587 ...Christie, Agatha! 849 00:42:51,409 --> 00:42:52,437 Look at that. 850 00:42:52,645 --> 00:42:53,855 She did remember. 851 00:42:54,178 --> 00:42:56,289 Somewhere in the back of her mind, it all lingered. 852 00:42:58,486 --> 00:42:59,588 And that's not all. 853 00:42:59,891 --> 00:43:01,180 Look at the copyright page. 854 00:43:05,574 --> 00:43:08,627 Facsimile edition. published in the year... 855 00:43:11,879 --> 00:43:13,108 ...5 billion! 856 00:43:13,710 --> 00:43:15,067 People never stop reading them. 857 00:43:15,913 --> 00:43:18,973 She is the best selling novelist of all time. 858 00:43:21,467 --> 00:43:22,536 But she never knew. 859 00:43:22,604 --> 00:43:24,367 Well, no-one knows how they're going to be remembered. 860 00:43:24,396 --> 00:43:25,750 All you can do is hope for the best. 861 00:43:26,239 --> 00:43:27,595 Maybe that's what kept her writing. 862 00:43:29,138 --> 00:43:30,526 Same thing keeps me travelling. 863 00:43:32,263 --> 00:43:33,339 Onwards? 864 00:43:34,599 --> 00:43:35,599 Onwards! 865 00:43:40,860 --> 00:43:42,482 This is the biggest library in the universe. 866 00:43:42,583 --> 00:43:43,708 So where is everyone? 867 00:43:46,081 --> 00:43:47,135 Run. 868 00:43:47,192 --> 00:43:48,568 For God's sake, run. 869 00:43:48,603 --> 00:43:49,610 Run! 870 00:43:54,355 --> 00:43:57,171 Professor River Song, archaeologist. 871 00:43:57,211 --> 00:43:58,878 The shadows are moving again. 872 00:43:59,014 --> 00:44:00,300 How could a shadow be infected? 873 00:44:00,443 --> 00:44:01,701 It's Vashta Nerada. 874 00:44:01,759 --> 00:44:03,415 - Run! - What's Kal? 875 00:44:03,535 --> 00:44:05,634 Something came to this library and killed everything in it. 876 00:44:06,270 --> 00:44:07,724 - Donna? - Yeah? 877 00:44:08,571 --> 00:44:09,954 Stay out of the shadows. 0 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net