1
00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:10,040
TARDIS THRUMS
2
00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:12,320
FOGHORN BLARES
3
00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:21,320
What?!
4
00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:24,440
WHAT?!
5
00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:26,960
SHIP'S BELL RINGS
6
00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:32,640
What?
7
00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:04,280
LAUGHTER AND CONVERSATION
8
00:01:04,320 --> 00:01:07,880
STRING VERSION
OF "Jingle Bells" PLAYS
9
00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:45,880
Ri-i-i-ght...
10
00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:48,520
OVER TANNOY:
'Attention all passengers.
11
00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:50,200
'The Titanic is now in orbit
12
00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:55,720
'above Sol 3, also known as Earth,
population - Human.
13
00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:59,920
'Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to Christmas! '
14
00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:51,160
Orbit, nice and steady.
15
00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:55,160
Good work, Mr Cavill.
16
00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:57,600
And maintain position.
17
00:02:57,640 --> 00:03:02,080
Now then, gentlemen, according to
the traditions of the planet below,
18
00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:04,360
Christmas is a time of celebration.
19
00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:07,280
I think you might be entitled
to a tot of rum.
20
00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:08,800
Just the one!
21
00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:13,600
Off you go. Sir. Sir.
22
00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:16,120
I'll keep watch.
23
00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:17,960
Sir.
24
00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:27,880
And you, what was it?
25
00:03:27,920 --> 00:03:30,080
Midshipman Frame, sir.
26
00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:33,400
Only just qualified, sir.
First trip out!
27
00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:36,040
Then you can stand down, Midshipman.
28
00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:38,440
But, erm...
29
00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:44,240
Regulations say the bridge
has to be staffed by two crew
members at any one time, sir.
30
00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:46,880
Well said. Very good!
31
00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:51,680
Well, it should be nice and quiet.
32
00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:54,640
It's only a Level 5 planet
down below -
33
00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:56,880
they don't even know we're here.
34
00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:03,240
Silent night, I believe they call it.
35
00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:05,520
A silent night.
36
00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:12,320
Max Capricorn Cruiseliners,
37
00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:17,480
the fastest, the furthest, the best.
38
00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:20,160
And I should know, because...
39
00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:23,120
my name is Max!
40
00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:27,800
# Sleigh bells ring
Are you listening
41
00:04:27,840 --> 00:04:31,200
# In the lane
Snow is glistening... #
42
00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:34,240
Merry Christmas, sir.
Merry Christmas.
43
00:04:34,280 --> 00:04:40,760
# We're happy tonight
Walking in a winter wonderland
44
00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:47,240
# Gone away is the bluebird
Here to stay is a new bird
45
00:04:47,280 --> 00:04:51,440
# He sings a love song
As we go along
46
00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:55,600
# Walking in a winter wonderland... #
47
00:04:55,640 --> 00:05:00,000
It's not a holiday for me,
not while I've still got my vone,
48
00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:03,240
now do as I say and sell!
49
00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:09,320
Evening, Passenger 57, terrible
memory, remind me, you would be?
50
00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:15,080
IN ROBOTIC VOICE:
Information. Heavenly Host,
supplying tourist information.
51
00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:20,880
Good! So, tell me, cos I'm an idiot,
where are we from?
52
00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:28,560
Information. The Titanic is en route
from the Planet Sto
in the Cassavalian Belt.
53
00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:33,880
The purpose of the cruise
is to experience primitive cultures.
54
00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:38,000
Titanic, erm,
who thought of the name?
55
00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:43,480
Information. It was chosen
as the most famous vessel
of the Planet Earth.
56
00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:45,200
Did they tell you why it was famous?
57
00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:51,160
Information. All designations
are chosen by Mr Max Capricorn,
58
00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:54,160
President of Max... Max...
Max... Max...
59
00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:56,040
Max... Max... Max...
60
00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:59,520
Oops! Bit of a glitch.
Sorry, sir, we can handle this.
61
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,760
Max... Max... Max...
62
00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:03,880
HOST POWERS DOWN
63
00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:08,440
Software problem, that's all, leave
it with us, sir. Merry Christmas!
64
00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:12,080
(That's another one down, what's
going wrong with these things?)
65
00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:15,680
That's eight of them now,
on the blink.
66
00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:20,320
One woman asked the Host
to fix her necklace,
it almost broke her neck.
67
00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:21,320
In first class!
68
00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:23,360
I've been over the robotics, nothing.
69
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:26,720
It's like something's got into them,
some kind of bug.
70
00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:28,960
Whoa, wait, wait.
71
00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,120
Over there, bay 15!
72
00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:35,200
Tell you what, if you can't fix
them, throw them overboard.
73
00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:41,360
Over there on the left.
74
00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:46,440
GLASS SMASHES
75
00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:48,880
Oh, for Tov's sake,
look where you're going!
76
00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:52,280
This jacket's
a genuine Earth antique!
77
00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:56,640
I'm sorry, sir.
You'll be sorry when it comes off
your wages, sweetheart!
78
00:06:56,680 --> 00:07:01,560
Staffed by idiots! No wonder Max
Capricorn's going down the drain!
79
00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:04,560
Careful! There we go.
80
00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:07,960
Thank you, sir, I can manage.
I never said you couldn't!
81
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:11,320
I'm the Doctor, by the way.
Astrid, sir, Astrid Peth.
82
00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:14,120
Nice to meet you, Astrid.
Merry Christmas!
83
00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:16,880
Merry Christmas, sir.
Just Doctor, not sir.
84
00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:21,680
You enjoying the cruise?
Um, yeah, I suppose, I dunno.
85
00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:25,080
It doesn't quite work,
a cruise, on your own.
86
00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:29,520
You're not with anyone?
No, no, just me, just, er...
87
00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:31,360
Used to be, but, erm...
88
00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:33,720
No. What about you?
89
00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:35,800
Long way from home, Planet Sto.
90
00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:37,800
Doesn't feel that different.
91
00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:40,480
Spent three years working
at the spaceport diner,
92
00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:43,440
travel all the way here,
and I'm still waiting on tables.
93
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:47,520
No shore leave?
94
00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:51,040
We're not allowed,
they can't afford the insurance.
95
00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:53,800
I just wanted to try it,
just once...
96
00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:57,840
I used to watch the ships
heading out to the stars.
And I always dreamt of...
97
00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:02,520
It sounds daft.
You dreamt of another sky.
98
00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:05,480
New sun,
99
00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:08,520
new air, new life,
100
00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:11,040
a whole universe teeming with life.
101
00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:17,080
Why stand still when
there's all that life out there?
102
00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:22,120
So... you... travel a lot?
103
00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:24,160
All the time. Just for fun.
104
00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:27,720
Well, that's the plan,
never quite works.
105
00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:29,400
You must be rich, though.
106
00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:31,080
Haven't got a penny.
107
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:34,720
(Stowaway.)
108
00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:36,280
Kidding?
109
00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:38,320
Seriously! No! Oh, yeah!
110
00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:40,320
How'd you get on board?
111
00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:43,040
Accident! I've got this
sort of ship-thing,
112
00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:45,840
I was just rebuilding her,
left the defences down,
113
00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:48,080
bumped into the Titanic, here I am.
114
00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:50,280
Bit of a party. I thought, why not?
115
00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:55,080
I should report you. Go on, then.
116
00:08:57,640 --> 00:08:59,480
I'll get you a drink.
117
00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:01,040
(On the house.)
118
00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:12,200
Just ignore them.
119
00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:16,800
Something's tickled them.
They told us it was fancy dress.
120
00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:19,240
Very funny, I'm sure.
They're just picking on us
121
00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:22,320
because we haven't paid.
We won our tickets in a competition.
122
00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:27,240
I had to name the five husbands
of Joofie Crystalle
in By The Light Of The Asteroid!
123
00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:30,080
D' you ever watch
By The Light Of The Asteroid?
124
00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:33,080
Is that the one with the twins?
That's it! It's marvellous!
125
00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:37,560
But we're not good enough
for that lot, they think
we should be in steerage.
126
00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:39,960
Oh, can't have that, can we?
127
00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:47,440
Did you do that? Maybe.
128
00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:52,600
Oh, we like you! We do!
129
00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:55,600
I'm Morvin Van Hoff,
this is my good woman Foon.
130
00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:58,600
Foon! Hello! I'm the Doctor.
I'm going to need one,
131
00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:00,600
time I've finished with that buffet.
132
00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:02,240
Have a buffalo wing!
133
00:10:02,280 --> 00:10:05,960
They must be enormous, these buffalo,
so many wings!
134
00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:13,840
OVER TANNOY: 'Attention, please,
shore leave tickets Red 6-7
now activated, Red 6-7... '
135
00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:15,720
Red 6-7, that's us!
136
00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:17,480
Are you Red 6-7?
137
00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:19,920
Might as well be! Come on, then!
138
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:22,400
We're going to Earth!
139
00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:31,920
BEEPING
140
00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:35,600
Seems to be power
diverted to deck 31, sir.
141
00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:37,160
It flared up, then it stopped.
142
00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:42,200
Nothing to worry about, she's
an old ship. Full of aches and pains.
143
00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:47,240
Picking up a meteoroid shower,
portside, bearing west 56, north 2.
144
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:51,000
Fairly standard in this part
of space. Miles away.
145
00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:53,000
We could probably see it, sir.
146
00:10:57,160 --> 00:11:02,680
Red 6-7, Red 6-7,
this way, fast as you can.
147
00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:05,760
I got you that drink.
And I got you a treat! C' mon.
148
00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:08,880
Red 6-7, departing shortly.
Red 6-7, plus one.
149
00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:13,760
Er, quickly, sir, please, and take
two teleport bracelets, if you would.
150
00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:15,960
I'll get the sack. Brand new sky!
151
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:20,720
To repeat, i am Mr Copper,
the ship's historian,
152
00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:26,880
and I shall be taking you to Old
London Town in the country of Yookay.
153
00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:30,360
Ruled over by Good King Wenceslas.
154
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:34,520
Now, human beings worship
the great God, Santa,
155
00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:37,600
a creature with fearsome claws
156
00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:39,760
and his wife, Mary.
157
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:45,360
And every Christmas Eve,
the people of Yookay go to war
with the country of Turkey.
158
00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:52,000
They then eat the Turkey-people
for Christmas dinner. Like savages!
159
00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:54,400
Excuse me, sorry, sorry, but...
160
00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:57,200
um, where did you get
all this from?
161
00:11:57,240 --> 00:12:01,560
Well, I have a first-class degree
in Earthonomics. Now, stand by.
162
00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:03,440
And me! And me! Red 6-7!
163
00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:05,880
Take a bracelet, please, sir.
164
00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:08,600
But hold on, hold on...
What was your name?
165
00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:10,240
Bannakaffalatta!
166
00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:13,800
OK, Bannakaffalatta,
but it's Christmas Eve down there,
167
00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:17,280
late-night shopping, tons of people,
he's like a talking conker...
168
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:23,040
No offence, but you'll cause a riot,
cos the streets are gonna be packed
with shoppers and parties and...
169
00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:26,040
Oh. Now, spending money.
170
00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:30,680
I have a credit card in Earth
currency, if you want to buy trinkets
171
00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:36,800
or stockings or the local delicacy,
which is known as beef,
172
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:40,120
but don't stray too far,
it could be dangerous!
173
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:42,480
Any day now, they start boxing.
174
00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:46,920
It should be full. It should
be busy, something's wrong.
175
00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:48,880
But it's beautiful.
176
00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:51,240
Really?!
177
00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:56,560
D' you think so? It's just a street.
The Pyramids are beautiful,
and New Zealand...
178
00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:59,760
But it's a different planet!
I'm standing on a different planet!
179
00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:01,560
There's... concrete!
180
00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:03,360
And shops! Alien shops!
181
00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:05,560
Real alien shops!
182
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:07,480
Look, no stars in the sky!
183
00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:10,800
And it smells... It stinks!
184
00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:13,080
Oh, this is amazing! Thank you!
185
00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:14,720
Yeah?!
186
00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:16,840
Come on, then, let's have a look.
187
00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:20,000
Hello, there, sorry,
188
00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:23,320
obvious question, but...
where's everybody gone?
189
00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:24,600
Oh, ho, scared.
190
00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:27,120
Right, yes, scared of what?
191
00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:29,360
Where've you been living?
192
00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:31,600
London! At Christmas!
193
00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:33,160
Not safe, is it?
194
00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:36,320
Why? Well, it's them! Up above.
195
00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:42,560
Look, Christmas before last,
we had that big bloody spaceship.
Everyone standing on the roof!
196
00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:46,000
And then last year,
that Christmas Star,
197
00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:50,040
electrocuting all over the place,
draining the Thames.
198
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:54,040
This place is amazing!
And this year, Lord knows what.
199
00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:57,720
So everyone's scarpered,
gone to the country.
200
00:13:57,760 --> 00:14:00,040
All except me, and Her Majesty.
201
00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:04,080
'Her Majesty the Queen has confirmed
that she will be staying
in Buckingham Palace
202
00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:07,480
'throughout the festive season,
to show the people of London,
203
00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:10,000
'and the world,
that there's nothing to fear.'
204
00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:11,960
Gawd bless her.
205
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,880
We stand vigil.
206
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:18,160
Well, between you and me,
I think Her Majesty's got it right.
207
00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:21,640
As far as I know, this year,
nothing to worry about.
208
00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:29,520
Then again...
209
00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:31,840
I was in mid-sentence!
210
00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:34,160
Yes, I'm sorry about that,
211
00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:36,040
bit of a problem...
212
00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:37,760
If I could have your bracelets?
213
00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:41,040
Apologies, ladies and gentlemen
and Bannakaffalatta,
214
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:43,520
we seem to have suffered
a power fluctuation.
215
00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:45,920
If you'd like to return
to the festivities,
216
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:52,200
and on behalf of
Max Capricorn Cruiseliners,
free drinks will be provided.
217
00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:53,640
Thank you.
218
00:14:53,680 --> 00:14:56,320
That was the best. The best.
219
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:01,440
What sort of power fluctuation?
220
00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:10,840
That's a bit odd, sir.
221
00:15:10,880 --> 00:15:12,880
The meteoroids are changing course.
222
00:15:12,920 --> 00:15:18,120
Still. We can put the shields
up to maximum, just in case.
As you were, Midshipman.
223
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:22,120
Sir?
224
00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:27,560
You're magnetising the hull, sir.
It's drawing the meteors in.
225
00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:30,080
COMPUTER:
'Port turning earth side... '
226
00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:34,120
I take it that's deliberate?
Bit of a light-show for the guests?
227
00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:38,040
Something like that.
228
00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:42,600
# You shouldn't be here
What's your tale
229
00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:45,800
# I ought to throw you to the whale
230
00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:51,280
# He just smiled and said
Come here, let's dance
231
00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:54,400
# He said, borrow or steal
I'll find a way
232
00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:57,480
# To be with my lover
upon Christmas Day
233
00:15:57,520 --> 00:16:00,800
# And I'll run and I'll roam
I'll cover the ground
234
00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:04,120
# This Christmas I'll see you
I'll be around... #
235
00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:10,600
'And I should know
because my name is Max.
236
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,520
'The fastest, the furthest...
237
00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:18,800
'... the best.
238
00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:20,800
'My name is Max.'
239
00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:42,120
SPEAKING TUBE WHISTLES
240
00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:44,840
'Captain? There's a meteoroid storm
coming in... '
241
00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:46,360
West zero by north two.
242
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:48,800
Who is this?
Never mind, check your scanners!
243
00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:51,160
You've meteoroids coming in
and no shielding!
244
00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:54,520
You have no authorisation,
you will clear the comms at once.
245
00:16:54,560 --> 00:16:55,920
Yeah? Just look starboard!
246
00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:57,520
If you could come with me, sir.
247
00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:02,680
But he's right, sir,
the shields HAVE been taken offline.
248
00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:05,600
Step away from there.
But we have to re-energise, sir.
249
00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:07,760
I said step away, Midshipman.
250
00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:14,280
You've got a rockstorm heading
for this ship, and no shields!
251
00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:21,440
They promised me old men.
I'm sorry, sir?
252
00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:23,120
On the crew.
253
00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:25,560
Sea dogs. Men who'd had their time.
254
00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:27,800
Not boys.
255
00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:35,040
Listen to me! This is an emergency!
256
00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:36,320
Get to the lifeb...!
257
00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:40,240
I'm sorry, sir, it's my duty.
258
00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:42,200
GUNSHOT
259
00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:43,560
Look out the windows!
260
00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:02,040
If you don't believe me,
check the shields yourself!
261
00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:03,200
Sir, I can vouch for him!
262
00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:06,080
Steward, he's just had
a bit too much to drink.
263
00:18:06,120 --> 00:18:09,520
- Something's wrong,
all the teleports have gone down.
- Not now!
264
00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:17,600
COMPUTER: 'Oxygen membrane holding.
Oxygen membrane holding.'
265
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:22,560
You, there. Has anyone checked
the external shielding?
266
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:23,880
Information.
267
00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:26,240
You are all going to die.
268
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:45,440
Where's the Chief Steward?!
He went that way, sir.
269
00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:49,040
The shields are down,
we're going to get hit!
270
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:54,000
You're gonna kill us...
I'm dying already.
271
00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:58,440
Six months.
272
00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:01,400
And they offered me so much money...
273
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:05,320
...for my family.
274
00:19:05,360 --> 00:19:09,120
Oi, Steward! I'm telling you,
the shields are down!!
275
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:10,920
Listen to him, listen to him!
276
00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:12,480
'Max Capricorn... '
277
00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:16,600
Darling,
come and have a look at this.
278
00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:18,520
'The fastest... '
279
00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:21,840
COMPUTER: 'Red alert. Red alert.'
280
00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:26,040
'... the furthest...
281
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,000
'... the best...
282
00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:33,080
'... the best... '
283
00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:43,560
SCREAMING
284
00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:52,200
Help me! Help me!
285
00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:01,040
Everybody, just please stay calm!
286
00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:17,080
My foot!
287
00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:19,440
My foot!
288
00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:22,960
Help me!
289
00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:44,560
Sh!
290
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,280
It's stopping.
291
00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:55,160
SHIP CREAKS
292
00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:00,840
You all right?
293
00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:02,680
I think so.
294
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:04,080
Bad name for a ship.
295
00:21:05,120 --> 00:21:07,480
Either that,
or this suit is really unlucky.
296
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:17,960
Ladies and gentleman,
and Bannakaffalatta...
297
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:21,240
I must apologise, on behalf of
Max Capricorn Cruiseliners.
298
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:24,160
We seem to have had
a small collision. Small!
299
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:27,440
D' you know how much I paid for
my ticket?! If I could have silence.
300
00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:29,640
EVERYONE TALKS AT ONCE
301
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:30,800
QUIET!
302
00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:35,040
Thank you. I'm sure
Max Capricorn Cruiseliners
303
00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:38,680
will be able to reimburse you
for any inconvenience.
304
00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:42,240
But first, I would point out that
we're very much alive... Doctor!
305
00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:45,120
...it is, after all,
a fine and sturdy ship.
306
00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:48,120
If you could all stay here,
307
00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:49,880
while I ascertain
308
00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:54,440
the exact nature
of the... situation.
309
00:21:55,360 --> 00:21:56,560
Don't open it!
310
00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:17,880
COMPUTER: 'Oxygen shield stabilised.'
311
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:20,440
Everyone all right? Astrid? Foon?
312
00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:22,520
Morvin, Mr Copper?
313
00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:24,520
Bannakaffalatta? Yes.
314
00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:27,920
You, what was your name?
Rickston Slade. You all right?
315
00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:29,440
No thanks to that idiot.
316
00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:32,160
The steward just died!
317
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:33,960
Then he's a dead idiot!
318
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:35,720
All right, calm down!
319
00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:39,200
Just stay still,
all of you, hold on...
320
00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:45,080
What happened?
How come the shields were down?
321
00:22:45,120 --> 00:22:47,920
I don't think it was an accident.
322
00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:50,240
How many dead?
323
00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:53,480
We're alive. Just focus on that.
324
00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:55,720
I will get you out of here, Astrid.
325
00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:58,320
I promise. Look at me.
326
00:22:59,360 --> 00:23:01,160
I promise.
327
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:03,120
Good.
Now, if we can get to reception,
328
00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:06,720
I've got a spaceship tucked away,
we can all get on board and...
329
00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:09,840
Oh-h-h. What is it, what's wrong?
330
00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:12,880
That's my ship, over there. Where?
331
00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:16,000
There, that box,
that little blue box.
332
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:19,080
That's a spaceship?
Oi, don't knock it.
333
00:23:19,120 --> 00:23:21,680
It's a bit small. A bit distant.
334
00:23:21,720 --> 00:23:27,240
Trouble is, once it's set adrift,
it's programmed to lock on
to the nearest centre of gravity.
335
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:28,760
And that would be...
336
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:31,000
...the Earth.
337
00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:47,200
Don't just stand there,
get this thing off me!
338
00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:51,560
Host! That's an order! Help me!
That IS your job, isn't it?
339
00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:57,280
Information.
We now have only one function.
340
00:23:57,320 --> 00:23:58,960
And what's that?
341
00:23:59,960 --> 00:24:01,920
Information. To kill.
342
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:05,160
What are you doing?
343
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:09,600
Host! I'm ordering you, stop it!
344
00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:10,680
Stop it, right now!
345
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:16,640
Deck 22 to the bridge.
Deck 22 to the bridge...
346
00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:19,040
'is there anyone there? '
347
00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:20,880
This is the bridge.
348
00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:25,600
Oh! Hello, sailor! Good to hear you!
What's the situation up there?
349
00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:28,200
Erm... we've got air...
350
00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:31,560
The oxygen field is holding.
But the Captain...
351
00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:33,440
He's dead.
352
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:38,400
He did it, oh, my Vot,
he took down the shields...
353
00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:41,560
There was nothing I could do,
I tried, I did try.
354
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:43,680
All right, stay calm,
what's your name?
355
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:45,800
Midshipman Frame.
356
00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:48,880
Nice to meet you, sir.
What's the state of the engines?
357
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:50,880
They're, um...
358
00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:52,640
HE GASPS
359
00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:54,320
Hold on...
360
00:24:56,120 --> 00:24:57,960
HE GROANS IN AGONY
361
00:24:58,000 --> 00:24:59,800
Have you been injured?
362
00:24:59,840 --> 00:25:02,080
I'm all right...
363
00:25:02,120 --> 00:25:05,520
Oh, my Vot. They're cycling down.
364
00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:08,880
That's a Nuclear Storm drive, yes?
365
00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:11,920
'Yeah.' The moment they're gone,
we lose orbit?
366
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:13,000
The planet...
367
00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:14,000
Oh, yes.
368
00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:17,120
If we hit the planet,
the Nuclear Storm explodes
369
00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:18,920
and wipes out life on Earth.
370
00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:29,960
I need you to fire up
the Engine Containment Field
and feed it back into the core.
371
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:31,400
That's never gonna work!
372
00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:34,000
'Trust me,
it'll keep the engines going'
373
00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:35,600
till I get there. We're gonna die!
374
00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:38,120
Are you saying someone's
done this on purpose?
375
00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:39,760
We're gonna die!
376
00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:42,200
OK, OK, just hush!
First things first.
377
00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:44,600
One,
we're gonna climb through this ship.
378
00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:47,760
B - no, two -
we're gonna reach the bridge.
379
00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:50,920
Three, or C,
we're gonna save the Titanic.
380
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:53,440
And coming in a very low four,
or D,
381
00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:57,280
or that little "iv" in brackets
they use on footnotes - why?
382
00:25:57,320 --> 00:25:58,920
Right, then! Follow me.
383
00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:01,840
Hang on a minute,
who put you in charge?
384
00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:03,960
And who the hell are you, anyway?
385
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,960
I'm the Doctor. I'm a Time Lord.
386
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:12,640
I'm from the planet Gallifrey
in the constellation of
Kasterborous,
387
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:16,320
I'm 903 years old, and I'm the man
who's going to save your lives
388
00:26:16,360 --> 00:26:18,840
and all six billion people
on the planet below.
389
00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:24,280
You got a problem with that?
390
00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:26,960
No. In that case...
391
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:28,040
allons-y!
392
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:50,040
Careful.
393
00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:52,120
Follow me.
394
00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:58,440
It's rather ironic, but this is
very much in the spirit of Christmas.
395
00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:01,080
It's a festival of violence!
396
00:27:01,120 --> 00:27:06,040
They say that human beings
only survive depending on whether
397
00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:09,520
they've been good or bad.
It's barbaric!
398
00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:14,400
Actually, that's not true,
Christmas is a time of peace
and thanksgiving and...
399
00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:17,600
Oh, what am I on about?
My Christmases are always like this!
400
00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:22,400
Ah, we've got a Host!
401
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:24,200
Strength of ten!
402
00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:27,040
If we can mend it,
we can use it to fix the rubble.
403
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:28,360
We can do robotics! Both of us!
404
00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:31,920
We work on the Milk Market
back on Sto, it's all robot staff.
405
00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:33,520
See if you can get it working.
406
00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:34,600
Let's have a look...
407
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:43,720
It's blocked. So what do we do?
408
00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:46,280
We shift it. That's the attitude!
409
00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:49,280
Rickston! Mr Copper!
And you, Bannakaffalatta...
410
00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:52,480
Look, can I just call you Banna?
It's gonna save a lot of time.
411
00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:54,480
No! Bannakaffalatta!
412
00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:58,760
All right then, Bannakaffalatta,
there's a gap, in the middle,
see if you can get through.
413
00:27:58,800 --> 00:27:59,960
Easy! Good!
414
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:04,560
CRASHING
415
00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:07,920
This whole thing
could come crashing down!
416
00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:10,200
Oh, Rickston,
did you get that message?
417
00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:12,400
No, what message? Shut up.
418
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:14,960
Bannakaffalatta made it!
419
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:17,480
I'm small enough,
I can get through.
420
00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:19,680
Careful. I'm fine.
421
00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:25,560
Thing is, how are Mr and Mrs Fatso
going to get through that gap?
422
00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:28,520
We make the gap bigger. So start!
423
00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:31,440
Hey, hey! Come on, sweetheart.
424
00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:33,000
Don't listen to him.
425
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:36,400
No, but it's all my fault, though.
426
00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:40,280
The tickets.
We won them, fair and square. I know.
427
00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:42,720
I never told you...
428
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:46,600
I dialled the competition line
5,000 times.
429
00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:50,680
That's 5,000 credits,
I might as well have paid
for the tickets.
430
00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:55,200
I've been hiding the vone bill
for months now.
431
00:28:55,240 --> 00:28:56,840
5,000 credits?
432
00:28:58,520 --> 00:29:02,720
You spent 5,000 credits?
Don't hate me.
433
00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:15,960
What's so funny?
434
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:17,840
5,000?
435
00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:23,200
We'll never pay that off. I know!
We'll have to work for 20 years!
436
00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:24,880
You mad bloody woman!
437
00:29:25,920 --> 00:29:27,640
You're not cross?
438
00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:29,440
Does it matter?
439
00:29:29,480 --> 00:29:31,200
Well, look at us!
440
00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:32,920
You drive me barmy!
441
00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:39,120
I don't half love you, Mrs Van Hoff.
C' mere.
442
00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:46,480
RAUCOUS LAUGHTER
443
00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:48,680
What happened,
did they find a doughnut?
444
00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:53,240
I can clear it from this side,
just tell me if it starts moving!
445
00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:58,040
Bannakaffalatta, what's wrong? Sh!
446
00:29:58,080 --> 00:30:00,360
What is it? Can't say.
447
00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:02,120
Are you hurt?
448
00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:04,920
Ashamed.
449
00:30:04,960 --> 00:30:06,720
Of what? Poor Bannakaffalatta!
450
00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:10,720
You're a cyborg!
451
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:13,400
Had accident.
452
00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:16,200
Long ago. Secret.
453
00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:18,800
No, but everything's changed, now!
454
00:30:18,840 --> 00:30:21,320
Cyborgs are getting equal rights.
455
00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:24,680
They passed a law, back on Sto,
you can even get married.
456
00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:26,600
Marry you?
457
00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:30,200
Well, you can buy me a drink first!
458
00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:33,080
Come on, let's recharge you.
459
00:30:36,080 --> 00:30:38,720
Just stay there for a bit.
460
00:30:38,760 --> 00:30:41,400
Tell no-one. I promise.
461
00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:44,040
What's going on up there?
462
00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:46,800
Oh, I think Bannakaffalatta
and I just got engaged.
463
00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:50,880
HE LAUGHS
464
00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:53,160
SPEAKING TUBE WHISTLES
465
00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:59,040
This is the Bridge.
This is kitchen number five.
466
00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:01,000
How many of you are there?
467
00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:04,240
Six of us. Just about.
Are we the only ones left alive, sir?
468
00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:06,200
No, there's more on deck 19...
469
00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:09,560
Hold on, if I reverse the scanner...
470
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:14,400
There's 50, 60 people, still alive
all over the ship, hold on...
471
00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:17,760
i can see you!
Kitchen five, there you are!
472
00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:21,080
Listen,
everyone's heading for the bridge,
473
00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:24,200
don't go portside, there's no air,
can you head starboard?
474
00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:28,120
We're stuck, the doors have sealed,
we can't get out.
475
00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:29,960
No, wait a minute.
476
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:31,200
It's opening!
477
00:31:32,600 --> 00:31:34,880
There's someone on the other side!
478
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:42,000
Host, we've got Host!
The Host are still working!
479
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:44,640
That's brilliant, tell them
to clear a path to the bridge.
480
00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:48,160
Did you get that?
481
00:31:49,840 --> 00:31:52,000
Kitchen five, report.
482
00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:55,160
Hello, kitchen five?
483
00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:58,240
SCREAMS AND SHOUTS
484
00:31:58,280 --> 00:31:59,240
Report!
485
00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:01,120
Almost done! Good, good, good!
486
00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:02,920
Mr Frame, how's things? Doctor...
487
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:06,760
I've got life-signs all over,
but they're going out, one by one.
488
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:08,640
What is it, are they losing air?
489
00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:13,880
No, one of them said it was
the Host, it's something to do
with the Host.
490
00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:18,800
It's working!
491
00:32:18,840 --> 00:32:21,320
Kill... Turn it off, turn it off!
492
00:32:21,360 --> 00:32:22,520
...kill, kill, kill,
493
00:32:22,560 --> 00:32:25,200
kill, kill, kill, kill...
494
00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:27,240
Go! Morvin!
495
00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:29,400
It's frozen, can't stop it!
496
00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:31,520
Won't work... double deadlock!
497
00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:33,520
...kill, kill...
498
00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:35,440
Go upstairs! Run!
499
00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:39,840
Information.
Kill, kill, kill, kill...
500
00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:43,080
Rickston! Get them through!
No chance!
501
00:32:44,560 --> 00:32:47,760
- Rickston!
- I'll never get through there!
502
00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:49,400
Yes, you can, let me go first.
503
00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:55,480
The Host have gone berserk!
Are you safe?
504
00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:04,240
Kill, kill, kill...
505
00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:10,800
No, I'm stuck!
Come on! You can do it!
506
00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:14,920
It's gonna collapse.
507
00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:18,640
Rickston, Vot damn it, help me!
508
00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:21,040
No way! Morvin! Get through!
509
00:33:24,960 --> 00:33:26,840
Kill, kill...
510
00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:30,280
Doctor, he's stuck.
511
00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:33,280
Mr Van Hoff, I know we've only just
met but you'll have to excuse me.
512
00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:38,480
Got you!
Doctor, come on! Get through!
513
00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:41,960
Information override! What's the
origin of your command structure?
514
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:45,040
I can't hold it! Information deck 31.
515
00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:46,320
Thank you!
516
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:50,480
Let go!
517
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:10,200
Morvin, look! Food!
518
00:34:10,240 --> 00:34:12,960
Oh, great, someone's happy.
Don't have any, then!
519
00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:14,040
SPEAKING TUBE WHISTLES
520
00:34:14,080 --> 00:34:17,600
SPEAKING TUBE WHISTLES
Mr Frame? Are you still there?
Yes, sir.
521
00:34:17,640 --> 00:34:20,720
But I've got Host outside,
I've sealed the door.
522
00:34:20,760 --> 00:34:23,480
They've been programmed to kill,
why?
523
00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:26,200
That's not the only problem, Doctor.
524
00:34:26,240 --> 00:34:31,120
I had to use a maximum deadlock
on the door. Which means...
525
00:34:31,160 --> 00:34:33,600
no-one can get in.
526
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:36,000
I'm sealed off.
527
00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:37,480
Even if you can fix the Titanic,
528
00:34:37,520 --> 00:34:39,320
'you can't get to the bridge.'
Yeah.
529
00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:42,200
Right. Fine! One problem at a time.
What is on deck 31?
530
00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:47,120
That's down below, it's nothing...
531
00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:50,520
It's just the Host Storage Deck,
that's where we keep the robots.
532
00:34:51,720 --> 00:34:53,640
But what's that? D' you see?
533
00:34:53,680 --> 00:34:56,040
That panel of black,
534
00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:59,520
it's registering... nothing.
No power, no heat, no light.
535
00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:03,720
'I've never seen it before.'
100% shielded, what's down there?
536
00:35:03,760 --> 00:35:05,640
I'll try intensifying the scanner.
537
00:35:05,680 --> 00:35:07,400
Let me know if you find anything.
538
00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:09,120
And keep those engines going!
539
00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:10,120
Saved you some.
540
00:35:10,160 --> 00:35:14,760
You might be a Time King from
Gaddabee, but you still need to eat.
Yeah. Thanks.
541
00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:17,880
Though you look good for 903.
542
00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:20,680
You should see me in the mornings.
OK.
543
00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:27,520
Doctor! Must be well past midnight,
544
00:35:27,560 --> 00:35:29,960
Earth time. Christmas Day.
545
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:32,360
So it is. Merry Christmas.
546
00:35:33,360 --> 00:35:36,000
This Christmas thing,
what's it all about?
547
00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:37,840
Long story.
548
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:41,120
I should know, I was there.
I got the last room.
549
00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:44,360
But if the planet's waking up,
can't we signal them?
550
00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:46,960
They could send up
a rocket or something.
551
00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:48,320
They don't have spaceships.
552
00:35:48,360 --> 00:35:53,280
No, I've read about it, they have
the shuffles. Space shuffles.
553
00:35:53,320 --> 00:35:57,240
Mr Copper, this degree in
Earthonomics, where's it from?
554
00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:03,800
Honestly? Just between us.
555
00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:12,240
Mrs Golightly's Happy Travelling
University And Dry Cleaners.
556
00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:16,160
D' you... You lied to the company?
557
00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:17,400
To get the job?
558
00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:21,040
I wasted my life on Sto.
559
00:36:21,080 --> 00:36:26,480
I was a travelling salesman,
always on the road,
560
00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:33,320
and I reached retirement with nothing
to show for it, not even a home.
561
00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:37,840
And Earth sounded so... exotic.
562
00:36:37,880 --> 00:36:40,600
Mm, yeah, I suppose it is, yeah.
563
00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:43,320
How come you know it so well?
564
00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:45,640
I was sort of, um...
565
00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:48,520
A few years ago,
I was sort of made, well...
566
00:36:48,560 --> 00:36:50,840
Sort of homeless, and...
567
00:36:50,880 --> 00:36:53,120
There was the Earth.
568
00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:59,040
The thing is, if we survive this,
there'll be police,
and all sorts of investigations...
569
00:36:59,080 --> 00:37:04,360
Now the minimum penalty for
space lane fraud is ten years in jail.
570
00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:09,720
Well, I'm an old man,
571
00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:12,000
I won't survive ten years!
572
00:37:12,040 --> 00:37:12,480
BANGING
573
00:37:12,520 --> 00:37:14,800
BANGING
Host! Move! Come on!
574
00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:39,840
Is that the only way across?
575
00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:42,360
On the other hand,
it is a way across.
576
00:37:42,400 --> 00:37:44,840
The engines are open.
Nuclear Storm drive.
577
00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:46,760
Soon as it stops, the Titanic falls.
578
00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:50,880
But that thing, it'll never take
our weight. You're going last, mate.
579
00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:53,320
It's nitrofine metal.
It's stronger than it looks.
580
00:37:53,360 --> 00:37:56,200
All the same, Rickston's right,
me and Foon should go la...
581
00:37:56,240 --> 00:37:58,400
HE SCREAMS
Morvin!
582
00:38:03,240 --> 00:38:05,760
I told you! I told you!
583
00:38:05,800 --> 00:38:08,240
- Just shut up, shut up!
- Bring him back!
584
00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:11,000
Can't you bring him back?
Bring him back, Doctor!
585
00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:13,760
I can't, I'm sorry, I can't.
You promised me!
586
00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:15,960
I know, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
587
00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:20,440
Doctor, I rather think those things
have got our scent.
588
00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:23,120
I'm not waiting. Careful!
589
00:38:23,160 --> 00:38:25,240
Take it slowly!
590
00:38:25,280 --> 00:38:27,320
EXPLOSION
591
00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:35,080
Vot help me...
You're OK! Step at a time.
592
00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:37,880
Come on. You can do it.
593
00:38:37,920 --> 00:38:39,280
...kill, kill...
594
00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:41,600
They're getting nearer.
595
00:38:41,640 --> 00:38:43,840
I've got to seal us in...
596
00:38:43,880 --> 00:38:48,120
Leaving us trapped, wouldn't you say?
Never say trapped. Just...
597
00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:50,160
inconveniently circumstanced. Oh!
598
00:38:54,040 --> 00:38:59,040
I'm OK... Maybe he's all right,
maybe there's a gravity curve
599
00:38:59,080 --> 00:39:02,120
down there, or something,
maybe he's just unconscious...
600
00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:04,120
I'm sorry, Foon.
601
00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:06,120
He's gone.
602
00:39:08,120 --> 00:39:10,560
What am I gonna do without him?
603
00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:19,800
Yes! Oh, yes! Who's good?!
604
00:39:19,840 --> 00:39:23,360
Bannakaffalatta, you go next.
Bannakaffalatta small! Slowly!
605
00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:27,160
They've found us!
606
00:39:28,120 --> 00:39:30,080
Astrid, get across, right now.
607
00:39:30,120 --> 00:39:32,120
What about you? Just do it, go on!
608
00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:34,120
Mr Copper, we can't wait, after you.
609
00:39:34,160 --> 00:39:35,680
Don't argue!
610
00:39:35,720 --> 00:39:38,960
Foon,
you've got to get across right now.
611
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:42,200
What for?
What am I going to do without him?
612
00:39:42,240 --> 00:39:44,640
Doctor! The door's locked!
613
00:39:44,680 --> 00:39:47,520
Just think, what would he want, eh?
614
00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:50,360
He don't want nothing, he's dead!
615
00:39:50,400 --> 00:39:52,920
Doctor! I can't open the door!
616
00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:55,360
We need the whirring key thing
of yours.
617
00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:58,920
I can't leave her! She'll get us
all killed if we can't get out!
618
00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:07,080
Mrs Van Hoff!
I am coming back for you. All right?
619
00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:16,200
Too many people!
620
00:40:16,240 --> 00:40:19,040
Oi! Don't get spiky with me.
Keep going!
621
00:40:32,240 --> 00:40:36,520
It's gonna fall! It’s just settling.
Keep going.
622
00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:38,640
POUNDING AT DOOR STOPS
623
00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:43,520
They've stopped.
624
00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:45,160
Gone away?
625
00:40:45,200 --> 00:40:49,800
Why would they give up?
Never mind that, keep coming!
626
00:40:49,840 --> 00:40:52,880
But where have they gone?
627
00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:54,400
Where are the Host?
628
00:40:57,960 --> 00:41:02,800
I'm afraid we forgot
the traditions of Christmas...
629
00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:04,960
that angels have wings.
630
00:41:16,720 --> 00:41:19,480
Information. Kill.
631
00:41:19,520 --> 00:41:21,360
Arm yourself! All of you!
632
00:41:42,760 --> 00:41:44,120
Argh!
633
00:41:45,120 --> 00:41:47,040
Ohhh!
634
00:41:47,080 --> 00:41:48,960
I can't...
635
00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:51,120
Bannakaffalatta, stop!
636
00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:53,240
Bannakaffalatta proud!
637
00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:57,240
Bannakaffalatta... cyborg!
638
00:42:17,520 --> 00:42:20,120
Electromagnetic pulse
took out the robotics!
639
00:42:20,160 --> 00:42:22,720
Oh, Bannakaffalatta,
that was brilliant!
640
00:42:30,240 --> 00:42:32,080
He's used all his power.
641
00:42:32,120 --> 00:42:33,840
Did good?
642
00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:35,720
You saved our lives.
643
00:42:37,360 --> 00:42:39,080
Bannakaffalatta happy.
644
00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:43,720
We can recharge you, get
you to a power point, plug you in.
645
00:42:43,760 --> 00:42:45,600
Too late.
646
00:42:45,640 --> 00:42:51,000
No, but you've got to get me
that drink, remember?
647
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:53,880
Pretty girl.
648
00:43:06,760 --> 00:43:08,720
I'm sorry, forgive me...
649
00:43:08,760 --> 00:43:16,120
Leave him alone. It's the EMP
transmitter, he'd want us to use it.
650
00:43:16,160 --> 00:43:21,760
I used to sell these things,
they'd always give me a bed for
the night, in the Cyborg Caravans.
651
00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:24,160
Good people.
652
00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:29,680
But if we can recharge it,
we can use it as a weapon
against the rest of the Host.
653
00:43:29,720 --> 00:43:32,120
Bannakaffalatta might
have saved us all.
654
00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:34,400
D' you think? Try telling him that.
655
00:43:37,440 --> 00:43:39,320
Information. Reboot. Use the EMP!
656
00:43:39,360 --> 00:43:41,680
It's dead.
It's gotta have emergency...!
657
00:43:41,720 --> 00:43:45,400
No! Hold on! Override! Loophole!
Security Protocol... ten!
658
00:43:45,440 --> 00:43:50,880
666? Uh, 21? 4, 5, 6, 7, 8?
I don't know, 42?
659
00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:53,120
Erm...one!
660
00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:59,280
Information. State request.
661
00:43:59,320 --> 00:44:00,760
Good!
662
00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:04,640
Right. You've been ordered
to kill the survivors, but why?
663
00:44:04,680 --> 00:44:07,000
Information. No witnesses.
664
00:44:07,040 --> 00:44:09,360
But this ship's gonna
kill everyone on Earth,
665
00:44:09,400 --> 00:44:12,960
the human race has nothing
to do with the Titanic,
that contravenes your orders!
666
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:15,640
Information. Incorrect. But...
667
00:44:15,680 --> 00:44:20,080
Why destroy the Earth? Information.
It is the plan. What plan?
668
00:44:20,120 --> 00:44:26,200
Information. Protocol grants you
only three questions, these
three questions have been used.
669
00:44:26,240 --> 00:44:28,600
Well, you could've warned me!
670
00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:30,960
Information. Now you will die.
671
00:44:36,720 --> 00:44:39,040
You're coming with me.
672
00:44:43,160 --> 00:44:44,800
NO!!!
673
00:45:02,360 --> 00:45:04,640
No more.
674
00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:09,680
Get yourselves
up to reception one,
675
00:45:09,720 --> 00:45:10,840
once you're there, Mr Copper,
676
00:45:10,880 --> 00:45:13,640
try to find a way of transmitting
an SOS.
677
00:45:13,680 --> 00:45:17,040
Astrid, take this, powered up,
it'll take out Host within 50 yards,
678
00:45:17,080 --> 00:45:19,200
but then it needs 60 seconds
to recharge.
679
00:45:19,240 --> 00:45:20,320
Rickston, take this...
680
00:45:20,360 --> 00:45:25,920
I've pre-set it, just hold down
that button, it'll open the doors.
Do NOT lose it, got that?
681
00:45:25,960 --> 00:45:27,760
Now go and open the next door.
682
00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:29,440
Go on, go! All right!
683
00:45:29,480 --> 00:45:34,280
Mr Copper, I need you fighting fit.
Astrid, where's the power points?
Under the comms.
684
00:45:35,280 --> 00:45:38,360
When it's ready,
that blue light comes on, there.
685
00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:41,480
You're talking
as if you're not coming with us.
686
00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:43,160
I'm gonna find out
what's on deck 31.
687
00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:47,240
What if you meet a Host?
Well, I’ll just... have some fun!
688
00:45:47,280 --> 00:45:49,880
Sounds like you do this
kind of thing all the time.
689
00:45:49,920 --> 00:45:51,640
Not by choice.
690
00:45:51,680 --> 00:45:55,160
All I do is travel,
that's what I am, just a traveller.
691
00:45:55,200 --> 00:45:56,680
Imagine it!
692
00:45:56,720 --> 00:45:58,880
No tax, no bills, no boss.
693
00:45:58,920 --> 00:46:00,760
Just the open sky.
694
00:46:02,720 --> 00:46:04,960
I'm sort of...
695
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:07,200
unemployed now.
696
00:46:07,240 --> 00:46:11,280
I was thinking, that blue box
is kind of small, but...
697
00:46:11,320 --> 00:46:13,800
I could squeeze in it.
Like a stowaway.
698
00:46:14,840 --> 00:46:17,960
It's not always safe. So you
need someone to take care of you.
699
00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:21,520
I've got no-one back on Sto,
no family. Just me.
700
00:46:24,920 --> 00:46:27,120
So what d' you think?
701
00:46:27,160 --> 00:46:29,360
Can I come with you?
702
00:46:32,880 --> 00:46:35,120
Yeah. I'd like that, yeah.
703
00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:37,160
EXPLOSION
704
00:46:39,120 --> 00:46:41,240
Mr Frame, are you still with us?
705
00:46:41,280 --> 00:46:43,320
It's the engines, sir. Final phase!
706
00:46:43,360 --> 00:46:46,440
There's nothing more I can do,
we've only eight minutes left.
707
00:46:46,480 --> 00:46:49,560
Don't worry, I'll get there.
But the bridge is sealed off!
708
00:46:49,600 --> 00:46:52,760
Yeah, yeah! Working on it!
I'll get there, Mr Frame. Somehow!
709
00:46:56,080 --> 00:46:57,960
All charged up!
710
00:46:58,000 --> 00:47:01,120
Mr Copper, look after her.
Astrid, look after him.
711
00:47:01,160 --> 00:47:03,760
Rickston, erm... Look after yourself.
712
00:47:03,800 --> 00:47:05,160
And I'll see you again.
713
00:47:05,200 --> 00:47:06,480
I promise. Hold on.
714
00:47:06,520 --> 00:47:08,640
There's an old tradition
on Planet Sto...
715
00:47:08,680 --> 00:47:10,800
I have really got to go.
Just wait a minute.
716
00:47:19,960 --> 00:47:23,040
Yeah, that's a... very old tradition,
yeah.
717
00:47:26,120 --> 00:47:27,160
See you later.
718
00:47:27,200 --> 00:47:29,120
Oh, yes.
719
00:47:43,320 --> 00:47:44,360
Do it!
720
00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:06,840
Wait, wait!
Security Protocol One!
721
00:48:06,880 --> 00:48:08,520
D' you hear me? One! One!
722
00:48:09,920 --> 00:48:13,280
OK. That gives me three questions.
723
00:48:13,320 --> 00:48:16,160
Three questions to save my life,
am I right?
724
00:48:16,200 --> 00:48:17,920
Information. Correct.
725
00:48:17,960 --> 00:48:21,480
No, that wasn't one of them,
I didn't mean it, that's not fair!
726
00:48:21,520 --> 00:48:23,600
Can I start again? Information. No.
727
00:48:23,640 --> 00:48:28,400
No, no, no, that wasn't
a question either! Blimey.
728
00:48:28,440 --> 00:48:31,400
One question left. One question.
729
00:48:31,440 --> 00:48:36,760
So! You've been given orders to kill
the survivors, but survivors must
therefore be passengers or staff,
730
00:48:36,800 --> 00:48:41,200
but not me, I'm not a passenger,
I'm not staff, go on, scan me,
731
00:48:41,240 --> 00:48:45,640
you must have bio-records, no such
person on board, I don't exist,
732
00:48:45,680 --> 00:48:49,360
therefore, you can't kill me,
therefore, I'm a stowaway,
733
00:48:49,400 --> 00:48:54,600
and stowaways should be arrested
and taken to the nearest figure
of authority,
734
00:48:54,640 --> 00:49:00,640
and I reckon the nearest figure
of authority is on deck 31.
735
00:49:00,680 --> 00:49:03,560
Final question - am I right?!
736
00:49:03,600 --> 00:49:05,360
Information. Correct.
737
00:49:05,400 --> 00:49:07,320
Brilliant!
738
00:49:07,360 --> 00:49:09,000
Take me to your leader!
739
00:49:10,560 --> 00:49:12,320
I've always wanted to say that.
740
00:49:27,600 --> 00:49:31,280
Rickston, seal the doors,
make the room secure.
741
00:49:31,320 --> 00:49:34,400
Mr Copper, keep an eye on the Host,
I need to check the computer,
742
00:49:34,440 --> 00:49:36,080
we need that SOS!
743
00:49:52,160 --> 00:49:55,040
Bridge... this is Reception One.
744
00:49:55,080 --> 00:50:01,840
Who's that? Astrid Peth - I was
with the Doctor. Tell me, can you
divert power to the teleport system?
745
00:50:01,880 --> 00:50:04,800
No way. I'm using everything
for the engines.
746
00:50:04,840 --> 00:50:07,760
It's just one trip,
I need to get to deck 31.
747
00:50:07,800 --> 00:50:09,840
And I'm telling you, no!
748
00:50:11,720 --> 00:50:13,680
Mr Frame.
749
00:50:13,720 --> 00:50:16,880
This is for the Doctor.
750
00:50:16,920 --> 00:50:21,120
He's gone down there,
on his own, and I...
751
00:50:21,160 --> 00:50:22,600
I can't just leave him.
752
00:50:22,640 --> 00:50:26,160
'He's done everything
he can to save us... '
753
00:50:27,680 --> 00:50:30,440
It's time we did something
to help him.
754
00:50:33,120 --> 00:50:35,400
'Giving you power.'
755
00:50:39,320 --> 00:50:42,240
Mr Copper. I'm going to find him.
756
00:50:42,280 --> 00:50:44,000
Good luck.
757
00:50:59,160 --> 00:51:01,880
Wow.
758
00:51:01,920 --> 00:51:03,480
Now...
759
00:51:03,520 --> 00:51:06,400
that is what you'd call
a fixer-upper.
760
00:51:07,440 --> 00:51:09,200
Come on, then, Host with the most.
761
00:51:09,240 --> 00:51:12,080
This ultimate authority
of yours, who is it?
762
00:51:13,720 --> 00:51:15,720
Oh, that's clever.
763
00:51:17,040 --> 00:51:19,280
That's an Omnistate Impact Chamber.
764
00:51:19,320 --> 00:51:25,600
Indestructible! You could
survive anything, in there,
you could sit through a supernova.
765
00:51:25,640 --> 00:51:27,360
Or a shipwreck.
766
00:51:27,400 --> 00:51:33,400
But only one person could have
the power and the money to hide
themselves on board like this.
767
00:51:33,440 --> 00:51:35,480
And I should know, cos...
768
00:51:35,520 --> 00:51:38,400
My name is Max.
769
00:51:39,960 --> 00:51:43,560
It really does that?! Who the hell
is this? I'm the Doctor, hello!
770
00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:46,400
Information. Stowaway.
771
00:51:46,440 --> 00:51:47,760
Well... Kill him.
772
00:51:47,800 --> 00:51:49,120
Oh, no, no, no, no, wait!
773
00:51:49,160 --> 00:51:51,320
But you can't, not now,
come on! Max!
774
00:51:51,360 --> 00:51:53,840
You're giving me so much
good material! Like...
775
00:51:53,880 --> 00:51:56,560
how to get a head in business.
776
00:51:56,600 --> 00:51:58,800
D' you see? Head? Head?
777
00:51:58,840 --> 00:52:00,320
Head? No?
778
00:52:00,360 --> 00:52:03,400
Ho, ho! The office joker.
779
00:52:03,440 --> 00:52:06,000
I like a funny man.
780
00:52:06,040 --> 00:52:07,920
No-one's been funny
with me for years.
781
00:52:07,960 --> 00:52:10,280
I can't think why.
782
00:52:10,320 --> 00:52:14,680
176 years of running the company
have taken their toll.
783
00:52:14,720 --> 00:52:17,400
Yeah, but... nice wheels.
784
00:52:17,440 --> 00:52:20,080
No. A life-support system,
785
00:52:20,120 --> 00:52:24,000
in a society that despises cyborgs.
786
00:52:24,040 --> 00:52:28,880
I've had to hide away for years,
running the company by hologram.
Host!
787
00:52:28,920 --> 00:52:30,760
Situation report!
788
00:52:30,800 --> 00:52:34,840
Information.
Titanic is still in orbit.
789
00:52:36,440 --> 00:52:38,040
Let me see...
790
00:52:40,800 --> 00:52:44,920
We should've crashed by now,
what's gone wrong?
791
00:52:47,400 --> 00:52:50,920
The engines are still running,
they should have stopped!
792
00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:54,800
When they do, Earth gets roasted...
What's Earth got to do with it?
793
00:52:54,840 --> 00:52:58,440
This interview is terminated.
794
00:52:58,480 --> 00:53:03,440
No, no, no, no!
But hold on, hold on, wait!
795
00:53:03,480 --> 00:53:07,920
I can work it out, it's like a task,
I'm your apprentice,
just watch me...
796
00:53:07,960 --> 00:53:09,760
So!
797
00:53:09,800 --> 00:53:14,160
The business is failing, you wreck
the ship, that makes things even
worse... Oh! Yes!
798
00:53:14,200 --> 00:53:15,920
No.
799
00:53:15,960 --> 00:53:17,560
Yes!
800
00:53:17,600 --> 00:53:22,080
The business isn't failing,
it's failed, past tense!
801
00:53:22,120 --> 00:53:26,600
My own board voted me out,
stabbed me in the back.
802
00:53:26,640 --> 00:53:28,920
If you had a back. So!
You scupper the ship,
803
00:53:28,960 --> 00:53:32,400
wipe out any survivors,
just in case anyone's rumbled you...
804
00:53:32,440 --> 00:53:35,320
and the board find
their shares halved in value.
805
00:53:35,360 --> 00:53:37,760
Oh, but that's not enough!
806
00:53:39,560 --> 00:53:46,400
No. Cos if a Max Capricorn ship
hits the Earth,
it destroys an entire planet...
807
00:53:46,440 --> 00:53:48,800
Outrage back home, scandal!
808
00:53:48,840 --> 00:53:51,120
The business is wiped out!
809
00:53:51,160 --> 00:53:56,120
And... the whole board thrown
in jail, for mass murder.
810
00:53:56,160 --> 00:54:01,080
While you sit there,
safe inside the Impact Chamber.
811
00:54:01,120 --> 00:54:05,560
I have men waiting to retrieve me
from the ruins,
812
00:54:05,600 --> 00:54:11,280
and enough off world accounts
to retire me to the beaches
of Penhaxico Two.
813
00:54:11,320 --> 00:54:17,360
Where the ladies, so I'm told,
are very fond of... metal.
814
00:54:17,400 --> 00:54:19,360
So that's the plan.
815
00:54:19,400 --> 00:54:21,320
A retirement plan!
816
00:54:21,360 --> 00:54:23,400
2, 000 people on this ship,
817
00:54:23,440 --> 00:54:27,960
six billion underneath us,
all of them slaughtered, and why?
818
00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:31,520
Because Max Capricorn is a loser!
819
00:54:31,560 --> 00:54:36,280
I never lose!
You can't even sink the Titanic!
820
00:54:36,320 --> 00:54:38,200
Oh, but I can, Doctor!
821
00:54:38,240 --> 00:54:42,840
I can cancel the engines from here.
822
00:54:44,360 --> 00:54:44,360
SIREN WAILS
823
00:54:44,400 --> 00:54:47,400
SIREN WAILS
COMPUTER: 'Engines closing.'
824
00:54:47,440 --> 00:54:50,080
No, no, no, no, no, no!
NO!
825
00:54:50,120 --> 00:54:52,640
'Engines closing.'
826
00:54:53,680 --> 00:54:55,120
What's happening?
827
00:54:55,160 --> 00:54:57,200
You can't do this! Host! Hold him!
828
00:55:00,080 --> 00:55:01,760
Not so clever now, Doctor.
829
00:55:01,800 --> 00:55:05,920
A shame we couldn't work together,
you're rather good.
830
00:55:05,960 --> 00:55:08,840
All that banter,
yet not a word wasted.
831
00:55:08,880 --> 00:55:12,600
Time for me to retire.
832
00:55:12,640 --> 00:55:18,320
The Titanic is falling.
The sky will burn.
833
00:55:18,360 --> 00:55:22,800
Let the Christmas inferno commence.
834
00:55:22,840 --> 00:55:23,800
Oh!
835
00:55:23,840 --> 00:55:25,840
Host...
836
00:55:25,880 --> 00:55:27,880
kill him.
837
00:55:29,600 --> 00:55:31,160
Mr Capricorn!
838
00:55:35,600 --> 00:55:36,600
I resign.
839
00:55:40,960 --> 00:55:42,320
Astrid, don't!
840
00:56:03,560 --> 00:56:04,880
He's cut the brake line!
841
00:56:34,800 --> 00:56:36,640
Astrid!
842
00:57:00,200 --> 00:57:09,360
COMPUTER: 'Titanic falling. Voyage
terminated. Voyage terminated.'
843
00:58:27,840 --> 00:58:29,800
Argh!
844
00:58:29,840 --> 00:58:31,400
'Deadlock broken.'
845
00:58:31,440 --> 00:58:33,880
Midshipman Frame! At last!
846
00:58:33,920 --> 00:58:39,520
But the Host... Controller dead,
they revert to the next highest
authority. And that's me!
847
00:58:39,560 --> 00:58:42,400
There's no power,
the ship's gonna fall.
848
00:58:43,440 --> 00:58:47,080
'Titanic falling.'
849
00:58:47,120 --> 00:58:49,160
What's your first name?
Alonso.
850
00:58:49,200 --> 00:58:51,080
'Titanic falling.'
851
00:58:51,120 --> 00:58:53,640
You're kidding me. Why?
852
00:58:53,680 --> 00:58:56,280
That's something else
I've always wanted to say.
853
00:58:56,320 --> 00:58:57,400
Allons-y, Alonso!
854
00:59:46,800 --> 00:59:49,840
TOOTING
855
00:59:58,640 --> 01:00:01,760
Hello, yes, erm...
Could you get me Buckingham Palace?
856
01:00:01,800 --> 01:00:05,600
And as dawn rises over Great Britain,
it seems that, this year,
857
01:00:05,640 --> 01:00:08,880
the City of London has escaped
alien intervention...
858
01:00:08,920 --> 01:00:14,000
The Queen has remained
in residence, in defiance
of extraterrestrial attack...
859
01:00:14,040 --> 01:00:17,920
Listen to me! Security Code 7711,
now get out of there!
860
01:00:17,960 --> 01:00:19,480
Open the door!
861
01:00:19,520 --> 01:00:21,040
CORGI WHINES
862
01:00:24,120 --> 01:00:29,480
Don't you dare, you aliens!
Don't you dare!
863
01:00:34,680 --> 01:00:39,600
'Engine active. Engine active.'
864
01:00:39,640 --> 01:00:42,200
SCREAMING AND SHOUTING
865
01:00:59,560 --> 01:01:01,960
PANTING
866
01:01:02,000 --> 01:01:04,360
YELLING
867
01:01:04,400 --> 01:01:09,800
Thank you, Doctor!
Thank you! Happy Christmas.
868
01:01:09,840 --> 01:01:12,320
BARKING
869
01:01:12,360 --> 01:01:14,800
GROANING
870
01:01:20,600 --> 01:01:22,720
LAUGHING
871
01:01:22,760 --> 01:01:25,120
Yes! Oh, yes!
872
01:01:32,400 --> 01:01:34,000
Woo-hoo!
873
01:01:35,040 --> 01:01:37,720
Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
874
01:01:51,760 --> 01:01:54,480
Used the heat of re-entry to fire
up the Secondary Storm Drive.
875
01:01:56,200 --> 01:01:58,760
Unsinkable. That's me.
876
01:01:59,800 --> 01:02:01,520
We made it.
877
01:02:01,560 --> 01:02:03,240
Not all of us.
878
01:02:06,800 --> 01:02:08,760
Teleport!
879
01:02:08,800 --> 01:02:12,480
She was wearing
a teleport bracelet!
880
01:02:12,520 --> 01:02:14,320
Rickston! Sonic!
881
01:02:14,360 --> 01:02:18,480
Mr Copper, the teleports, have
they got an emergency setting?
882
01:02:18,520 --> 01:02:21,400
I don't know, they should have.
She fell, Mr Copper.
883
01:02:21,440 --> 01:02:26,200
What's the emergency code? Let me...
What the hell are you doing?
We can bring her back!
884
01:02:26,240 --> 01:02:30,960
If a passenger has an accident
on shore leave and they're
still wearing their teleport,
885
01:02:31,000 --> 01:02:36,560
their molecules are suspended
and held in stasis, so if we can just
trigger the shift. There!
886
01:02:36,600 --> 01:02:39,960
I'm falling.
Only halfway there. Come on!
887
01:02:41,040 --> 01:02:46,160
I keep falling. Feedback
the molecule grid. Boost it with
the restoration matrix. No, no, no!
888
01:02:46,200 --> 01:02:49,800
Need more phase containment.
Doctor... If I can just link
up the surface suspension.
889
01:02:49,840 --> 01:02:55,720
Doctor, she's gone.
I just need to override the safety.
I can do this, I can do it. Doctor.
890
01:02:55,760 --> 01:02:58,120
Let her go.
891
01:03:02,320 --> 01:03:05,720
I can do anything! Stop me falling.
892
01:03:12,760 --> 01:03:16,840
There's not enough left,
the system was too badly damaged.
893
01:03:18,920 --> 01:03:21,080
She's just atoms, Doctor.
894
01:03:22,680 --> 01:03:28,520
An echo, with the
ghost of consciousness.
895
01:03:28,560 --> 01:03:31,040
She's stardust.
896
01:03:35,440 --> 01:03:38,840
Astrid Peth. Citizen of Sto.
897
01:03:41,480 --> 01:03:44,680
The woman who looked at the
stars and dreamt of travelling.
898
01:03:52,320 --> 01:03:54,680
There's an old tradition.
899
01:04:08,040 --> 01:04:10,960
Now you can travel forever.
900
01:04:22,840 --> 01:04:27,640
You're not falling, Astrid.
You're flying.
901
01:04:54,840 --> 01:05:00,720
The engines have stabilised,
we're holding steady till we
get help and I've sent the SOS.
902
01:05:00,760 --> 01:05:03,280
A rescue ship should be here
within twenty minutes.
903
01:05:03,320 --> 01:05:07,480
And they're digging out
the records on Max Capricorn.
Should be quite a story.
904
01:05:07,520 --> 01:05:12,920
They'll want to talk to all of us,
I suppose? I'd have thought so, yeah.
905
01:05:14,320 --> 01:05:19,680
I think one or two inconvenient
truths might come to light.
906
01:05:19,720 --> 01:05:21,920
Still, it's my own fault.
907
01:05:21,960 --> 01:05:24,920
And ten years in jail
is better than dying.
908
01:05:28,480 --> 01:05:30,400
Doctor...
909
01:05:30,440 --> 01:05:32,760
I never said...
910
01:05:32,800 --> 01:05:34,240
thank you.
911
01:05:41,680 --> 01:05:43,800
The funny thing is...
912
01:05:44,880 --> 01:05:48,160
...I said Max Capricorn
was falling apart.
913
01:05:48,200 --> 01:05:50,200
Just before the crash,
914
01:05:50,240 --> 01:05:52,160
I sold all my shares.
915
01:05:52,200 --> 01:05:55,440
Transferred them to his rivals.
916
01:05:55,480 --> 01:05:59,600
It's made me rich.
What do you think of that?
917
01:05:59,640 --> 01:06:01,400
BLEEPING
918
01:06:05,960 --> 01:06:10,120
Salvain? Those shares, I want
them triple-bonded and locked...
919
01:06:10,160 --> 01:06:17,000
Of all the people to
survive, he's not the one
you would have chosen, is he?
920
01:06:18,640 --> 01:06:23,960
But if you could choose, Doctor,
if you could decide who
lives and who dies...
921
01:06:25,600 --> 01:06:27,920
...that would make you a monster.
922
01:06:32,840 --> 01:06:35,720
Mr Copper...
923
01:06:35,760 --> 01:06:39,600
I think you deserve one of these.
924
01:07:04,880 --> 01:07:07,760
So, Great Britain
is part of Yooropee,
925
01:07:07,800 --> 01:07:10,560
and just across the British Channel,
926
01:07:10,600 --> 01:07:13,680
you've got Great France
and Great Germany.
927
01:07:13,720 --> 01:07:17,440
No, no, it's just France and
Germany, only Britain is Great.
928
01:07:17,480 --> 01:07:21,360
And they're all at war
with the continent of Hamerica?
929
01:07:21,400 --> 01:07:26,520
No. Well, not yet. (You could
argue that one.) There she is!
930
01:07:26,560 --> 01:07:28,480
Survive anything!
931
01:07:30,280 --> 01:07:35,280
You know, between you and me,
I don't even think this snow is real,
932
01:07:35,320 --> 01:07:42,240
I think it's the ballast
from the Titanic's salvage
entering the atmosphere.
933
01:07:44,040 --> 01:07:48,960
Yeah. One of these days,
it might snow for real.
934
01:07:49,000 --> 01:07:51,840
So! I suppose you'll be off?
935
01:07:51,880 --> 01:07:54,480
The open sky.
936
01:07:54,520 --> 01:07:56,720
And... what about me?
937
01:07:58,240 --> 01:08:01,720
I travel alone. It's best that way.
938
01:08:03,960 --> 01:08:06,560
What am I supposed to do?
939
01:08:06,600 --> 01:08:09,160
Give me that credit card.
940
01:08:10,680 --> 01:08:12,440
Well, it's just petty cash.
941
01:08:12,480 --> 01:08:14,840
Spending money.
942
01:08:14,880 --> 01:08:20,360
It's all done by computer,
I didn't really know the currency so
I thought a million might cover it.
943
01:08:20,400 --> 01:08:22,120
A million? Pounds?
944
01:08:22,160 --> 01:08:23,880
Enough for trinkets.
945
01:08:25,400 --> 01:08:29,400
Mr Copper, a million pounds
is worth 50 million credits.
946
01:08:31,600 --> 01:08:35,720
How much?! 50 million and 56.
947
01:08:39,640 --> 01:08:42,080
I've got money.
948
01:08:42,120 --> 01:08:44,960
Yes, you have!
949
01:08:45,000 --> 01:08:47,760
Oh, my word.
950
01:08:47,800 --> 01:08:52,640
Oh, my Vot.
Oh, my goodness me!
951
01:08:53,640 --> 01:08:55,480
Yee-hah!
952
01:08:55,520 --> 01:09:00,000
It's all yours. Planet Earth.
Now, that's a retirement plan.
953
01:09:00,040 --> 01:09:04,480
Just you be careful, though!
I will, I will, oh, I will!
954
01:09:04,520 --> 01:09:09,480
No interfering.
I don't want any trouble.
Just... just have a nice life.
955
01:09:09,520 --> 01:09:11,720
But I can have a house!
956
01:09:11,760 --> 01:09:14,200
A proper house! With a garden!
957
01:09:14,240 --> 01:09:16,320
And a door!
958
01:09:16,360 --> 01:09:19,920
Oh, Doctor! I will make you proud!
959
01:09:22,120 --> 01:09:29,280
I can have a kitchen! With chairs!
And windows! And plates! And...
960
01:09:32,160 --> 01:09:34,040
Um... where are you going?
961
01:09:34,080 --> 01:09:37,080
I've no idea!
962
01:09:37,120 --> 01:09:39,840
No, me neither.
963
01:09:39,880 --> 01:09:42,520
Oh, and Doctor!
964
01:09:43,560 --> 01:09:45,520
I won't forget her.
965
01:09:57,160 --> 01:10:00,160
Merry Christmas, Mr Copper.
966
01:10:24,240 --> 01:10:25,720
Come with me.
967
01:10:27,920 --> 01:10:30,800
The thrill is in the chase,
never in the capture.
968
01:10:34,840 --> 01:10:36,200
There's nowhere to run.
969
01:10:38,880 --> 01:10:41,880
Show yourself. Doctor!
970
01:10:42,880 --> 01:10:46,080
This... is the spark of life.
971
01:10:46,120 --> 01:10:49,680
I just want a mate. You're
not mating with me, sunshine.
972
01:10:49,720 --> 01:10:54,560
Being with you, I can't tell what's
right and what's wrong any more.
973
01:10:57,200 --> 01:11:00,000
It's better that way.
I do not understand, Miss.
974
01:11:00,040 --> 01:11:02,840
Why do you say "Miss"?
Do I look single? Oh, yes!
975
01:11:02,880 --> 01:11:05,480
I demand you tell me who you are.
976
01:11:05,520 --> 01:11:08,400
INCOHERENT MOAN
977
01:11:17,960 --> 01:11:20,320
This has certainly been
a most entertaining evening.
978
01:11:20,320 --> 01:11:30,320
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